It’s also very clear from the beginning of the night I’m with Alex. I have to admit I wasn’t sure how to play it, Alex doesn’t hold back, literally. His arm is often around me at my waist.
Dinner goes smoothly Alex sprinkles in enough of the company and business, he also knows how to be personal and ask after family and their own challenges. When Alex makes mention of the play it’s appreciated, then declined in favor of a blues club not far from the restaurant. Both state they are due for an early night. Alex is quick to agree. After we finish dinner, the walk of a few blocks is made easily. When the wind begins blowing, I shiver. All it takes is once, and Alex wraps me in his jacket. It smells like him and still has his warmth. I try not be obvious in my enjoyment of it around me. Once in the club, a round of drinks is ordered—with Lindsey and I both going with a glass of wine. It isn’t long before I need to excuse myself for the restroom. Lindsey offers to go along with me and I nod. I’ve never been one who felt the need to go to the restroom with someone, but I feel like I can’t argue with a potential client.
The bathroom is a three-stall bathroom with a chaise lounge in a twenties gilt vibe. It’s empty, and the moment the door closes Lindsey opens her mouth.
“Wow, I have to give you kudos, you must be as amazing as Alex claims you are, to have hooked him. The women, single and married, all along the entire eastern seaboard are still mourning the loss of Alex. After what happened with his ex-wife he kept women at bay, it was shocking to hear a family like the Whitten’s have, you know, bad blood running through them. Yet, I can see it now, you’re pretty enough, and you’re the exact opposite of her. Freakishly skinny and tall with white blonde hair, she just didn’t look like the rest of us, you know? She did some modeling, I remember, in her teens, but it wasn’t highbrow enough for her family.
“When he left Kaplan and Kaplan, everyone wondered where he was going. Some even thought he’d strike out on his own. To see him at a mid-sized firm like yours in Chicago is a bit of a surprise and a huge coup for your company. Alex was a major hitter at Kaplan and Kaplan. I get it, there was just no room for him to go up from VP there. They were closing ranks, family only at the top. I’m hearing Boston was shocked to see him go, word on the street was other big firms courted him.”
“Tim and Edward know how to play the game and we’ve gone from tiny to mid-sized in just thirteen years. I’m sure with Alex it won’t be long until he takes us to the next level.” My lips are numb because I’m seeing it now. All the things I haven’t allowed myself to see. Tim and Edward chummy with Alex; treating him like the heir apparent he is. Tim and Edward are nearing retirement and their children aren’t successor material. Tim has a son in the Army and another son who is a graphic designer in California. Edward has only a daughter, who is a dance major in New York. They had invested too much in the company to let it fall apart once they retired. I’m the only other person who knows the company inside out, but I’m not a Harvard graduate with the kind of connections needed.
I’m not sure how many more shocks I can take. It doesn’t matter how well I do on my next presentation, the job is already Alex’s. Alex had to know that. I press down a bitter laugh as I remember my accusation, no wonder he’d been so astonished I’d accused him of using sex to throw me off. There’s a part of me that wants to be angry, but it won’t come. Once again, it’s something so obvious I hadn’t seen it only because I didn’t want to. It made sense, choosing Alex over me makes sense.
Following Lindsey out of the restroom my arm is caught before I make it two steps. Need fills me at his touch, the need to feel him and have him hold me, except he’s looking dangerously predatory. It doesn’t matter people are milling around us, his body pushes mine into the wall and his mouth is on mine. His mouth takes mine and his tongue is everywhere, taunting and teasing me. My hands are around his neck, needing to hold me up.
Alex ends the kiss and his thumb comes up to wipe at the spread gloss I’d reapplied. “There you go, now you look both wanting and satisfied all at once. Perfect.”
“Alex, is this wise, with two prospective clients waiting for us?” It’s a half-hearted question. If he wanted to take me up against the wall in full sight of everyone, I don’t think I’d be able to say no.
“George took one look at you and it was clear he thought you would be his after-dinner entertainment. It’s either this kiss or I give him a black eye for his constant staring at you.”
I shake my head, Alex has lost his mind. I hadn’t noticed anything other than maybe a too bright smile at dinner. There had been nothing since Alex put his hand on mine. “Alex, you’re nuts, however if you keep up with kisses like that, then I’m all for it.”
He laughs as he guides me back to the table. Careful to pay attention to the band, my hand remains in Alex’s for the rest of the night. Relief is sharp when Lindsey begins to yawn and apologize that at nine she’s exhausted. George is quick to remind her in Boston it’s ten and they laugh. I’m sure I make the right noises, and say the right things as we walk them back to the hotel. Finally, we’re back in Alex’s car.
Chapter Six
The questions spin in my mind, then I stop, the only one that really matters is, do I want Alex tonight? Yes, I don’t hesitate. No matter what happens with the firm, I want Alex. I need Alex, although that’s scary in and of itself, it’s really the only thing that matters. We’re in front of my house before I realize it. Alex is walking around to open my door. His arm around me is pulling me out of my mind, I’m grateful for it. He unlocks the door then pushes me nside. He flicks on the light in the living room then pulls me to the couch. Why the hell am I so easy to read?
“Out with it.” Alex says as he sits down beside me. His hands between his legs, his elbows resting on his knee show he’s bracing for the worst.
“Stephen’s job was always yours. I was never a contender.” It’s not a question.
Alex runs his hands over his face, the lines are back, “No.”
“Then what was the competition about?”
“They wanted me to see how good you are, how valuable you are. They
wanted you to see the same thing. They aren’t stupid, they know you thought you were moving up, and they don’t want you to hate me, or leave in a snit. When the time comes, I’m buying them out. They wanted me to see your value and make you my number two. Tim is ready to retire yesterday, Edward is insistent he’s got a few good years in him. Tim will stay on for at least another year. I buy his share then when Cathy has talked all the fight out of Edward, the company will be mine.”
“What you said about us having nothing to do with the campaign. It was a lie, wasn’t it?”
“No, damn it, and yes, maybe. I wasn’t lying when I told you I wanted you since the moment I met you. I also knew, once I got the promotion you’d never let me in. I got a little desperate the night in your office. I had one week when you had been so damned good at evading me for a year.” His hand goes to his neck and rubs.
“Fourteen months and three weeks, Alex. It’s been fourteen months and three weeks since you started.” Alex looks at me now, there’s hope in his bright blue eyes, so much hope it makes me breathless. “It’s been fourteen months and three weeks since I took one look at you and my body went nuts. I had no idea what the hell was the matter with me. It scared me. I didn’t like sex, didn’t want sex. I told myself it was just hormones and I would get over it. You were the enemy. I hated you, I told myself that over, and over again but it wasn’t you I hated. I hated myself because I wanted you so much I ached.”
He pulls me into his arms and kisses me with all the desperation and need I’m also feeling. The room shifts he’s picked me up. In my bedroom, he turns on the overhead light. I ask him to turn it off. I’m too self-conscious. I’m still finding it hard to believe he had been able to carry me to the bedroom.
“Baby, I have dreamed of this for months, woke up absolutely sure it was real only to find out it was another dream. Your body is beautiful to me. I won’t let you hide it. The lights stay on. I want and need to see all of you.” His hands are at my back. He’s found the zipper, pulling it down. Everywhere his fingers linger leaves a trace of fire on my skin. Before he edges the dress down, as I want him to so badly, he stops.
“Grace, how did he hurt you? What did he do to you?” Alex’s look of concern stops me from screaming from frustration that he stopped. His touch is lighter against me as his hands move down to my hips, merely a flutter of sensation.
“He was just rough, very rough, and he seemed to like it when I cried out. Please, please don’t let what he did affect this moment, us. It was so long ago it’s already a faded memory. When you touch me, it’s like it was all a bad dream. You are the only reality that matters to me.”
Alex grip on my hips is harder as he pulls me to him, “You’re mine.”
“Yes, yes I am. I’m yours.”