“No, but we should have,” Vorn said bitterly. “If I’d shoved my own shaft inside you instead of always using all the fucking toys we’d be bonded by now and this whole thing would be a moot issue.”
“Well, you didn’t,” Jodi snapped. “And you’re not going to, either. Because you’re going to go back to the Mother Ship and I’m going to marry James like I’m supposed to and we’ll never see each other again!”
Vorn felt like she had stabbed him in the heart. He actually took a staggering step back and collapsed onto the loveseat.
“So that’s how you feel?” he asked hoarsely. “You just want me to get the fuck out of your life and never see you again?”
“I never said that!” Jodi was already backpedaling, looking miserable. “Vorn, meeting you has been amazing. But I just can’t…I can’t throw away such a long, committed relationship just like that.” She snapped her fingers. “Just because you and I had a few kinky nights with each other. I mean, James and I have a life together. We have this apartment and our wedding is all booked and paid for and we know what names we’re going to give our kids when they come along and…and…and I just have everything all planned out,” she finished at last.
“Right.” Vorn rose to his feet and nodded heavily. “And I’m not part of the plan. I get it.”
“Vorn—” she started but he shook his head.
“Don’t. I don’t want to hear any more.” He went into the spare room and stood in the doorway, turning to face her. “I’ll be here if you need me. But only if the fucking Varians kick down the door—otherwise, I don’t think we have anything else to say to each other.”
Then he went into the room and closed the door behind him.
Jodi watched him go, feeling miserable. As she gathered the toys they’d been using with stiff, jerky motions, she tried to tell herself she was doing the right thing but somehow she couldn’t quite manage to believe it.
But I can’t just leave my fiancé to go off with a guy I just met a week ago! she told herself. A guy I couldn’t even stand at first. I can’t just run off on James the way Dad ran off on Mom—that isn’t right!
Of course the things she’d been doing with the big Kindred weren’t exactly right either, she knew that. And she also knew she was going to have to come clean to James eventually. But she couldn’t just leave him out of the blue with no warning—couldn’t just abandon him and the whole life they had built and planned together, could she?
“No, I definitely can’t,” Jodi told herself sternly. “If I do that, I’m no better than Dad. I can’t just give up on my relationship because I found somebody sexier.”
Someone who made her hot and bothered just being around him…someone who had let her call him “Master” and fulfilled her every sexual desire…well, almost—there were definite limits when they weren’t allowed to touch skin-to-skin. But still, Vorn had done a damn good job considering their restrictions. He had—
No, stop thinking about everything you and Vorn did together, Jodi told herself firmly. That’s over now—it has to be over. James is coming home tomorrow night and you have to be ready to see him. You love him, remember?
But try as she might, Jodi couldn’t seem to bring up any warm feelings for her fiancé—or any hot feelings either. She told herself it didn’t matter—the feelings were there, they were just buried. They would come back eventually.
Maybe when the feelings she had somehow grown for Vorn started to fade…
Twenty-Nine
“You’re sure you’ll be okay alone while I go get the peace-ahh?” Liosh asked with concern.
Melli tried to stifle a grin. “It’s a pizza, not a ‘peace-ahh’ and yes, I’ll be fine,” she assured him. “Go on and go—I’ll find us something good to watch while you’re gone.”
“Well…” he frowned. “All right. But promise you’ll stay in the dorm while I’m gone. I don’t like leaving you alone—not even for a few minutes.”
“Liosh, I’ll be fine.” She put a hand on her hip. “Honestly, didn’t Commander Sylvan tell you just today over the Think-me that the security system around the Earth has been mended? Ships might be able to get out, but nothing new can get in. So unless there’s a Varian ship that’s been lying low down here on Earth for over a week…”
“Which is possible,” Liosh said, his frown deepening.
“But not likely,” Melli pointed out. “I mean, don’t you think they would have tried something by now if they were going to? They’re not exactly the most subtle guys, now are they?”
“Subtlety is not a Varian trait, no,” Liosh admitted.
“Look, if you don’t go soon our ‘peace-ahh’ is going to be cold,” Melli told him. “And I promise you, it’s never as good when you reheat it as it is piping hot.”