“It’s not your job I’m worried about,” he said, still leaning close. He rubbed his hands together. “I don’t think there’s doubt in anyone’s mind that you’re the best man for the job. That’s not what I’m talking about. And I think you know that.”
Okay, yeah, she’d known. But...
“You work so hard to be an equal here, Chantel, that you go overboard. You seem to forget that you’re a woman. Like it’s a bad thing, so you pretend that part of you doesn’t exist.”
“I’m not a woman at work. I’m a cop.”
“And when you’re not at work?”
She thought about work. Or ate chocolate ice cream. Or went to the gym to keep in shape for work.
“I hang out with Meri and Max,” she said. Wayne knew them both. He’d been instrumental in saving Meri from her fiend of an ex-husband. He also knew that Max had once been married to Chantel’s best friend, Jill. And that Jill had died on the job, saving another cop. “The baby’s over a year old now, and Caleb’s four. I watch them at least once a week so Max and Meri have time to enjoy each other.”
Because she’d never seen a love like the one they shared.
Wayne was still watching her, his glance more focused than she liked. He was a great detective.
Partially because, when he looked, he could see things most people missed. Uncomfortable with that eye turned on her, she shored up her defenses again.
An instinctive maneuver, not a conscious choice.
“I’m a woman, Wayne. I love children and nurture them. I have friends. I go to the beach...”
“Have you been out on even one date since you’ve been here?”
Chantel thought back. Had it really been over a year since she’d moved from Las Sendas up to Santa Raquel?
“I’ve been busy finding a place to live, setting it up, spending time with Max and Meri, staying in shape, getting up to speed on the High Risk team. It’s not like I’ve had a lot of spare time.”
“You’re thirty-two years old. If you’re going to have a family, you should start thinking about doing so...”
“You and Maria don’t have kids.”
His head dropped enough that she couldn’t see his expression. “We’re trying,” he said, leaving her to wonder if they were having problems conceiving.
“You’re human, Chantel,” Wayne said, lifting that gaze up to pierce her again. “Young and healthy. It stands to reason that at some point...”
“Hold it right there.” Her voice hard as rocks, it was her turn to stare down. “Before you say something we’ll both regret...”
But why shouldn’t he express his concerns? She wanted to be one of the guys, and guys talked about sex all the time.
If she weren’t the cop in question, if they were talking about someone else, she might even share his concerns.
“Look.” She softened her tone. Remembered that she was talking to her friend. And recognized that he had a point. She’d proved it for him with her less-than-stellar behavior. “I admit that the idea of having someone to go out with is...not unpleasant. I’ll even go so far as to admit that Colin Fairbanks is extremely...easy...to be with. I like him. But you have nothing to worry about.”
“Forgive me, but those statements give rise to concern rather than alleviate it. And you know as well as I do that telling me not to worry raises more concern because I have to wonder if you’re in denial.”
Calm now, Chantel nodded. “I know. But I’m not. Listen, Wayne, like you said, I’m thirty-two years old. And yes, I’m healthy, of course I have sexual feelings, and maybe it would be easier if I could visit a male strip club now and then, but I’m just not into that.” She grinned, and then, serious again, said, “I’m thirty-two, not twenty-two. I’ve had relationships. And painful breakups, too. Life experiences teach us things, and I’ve learned some things along the way. Two of them...”
She stopped. Feeling a little stupid, sitting there ready to share her innermost thoughts with another cop.
“You’re going to tell me what they are, right? We’re just waiting for you to get there?”
Guy talk, Harris, she reminded herself. And was struck with the thought that she was hiding behind it. Which was ludicrous.
It bothered her—that she’d think such a thing. She loved her job. And really liked having male friends...
“I’m assuming one of the broken relationships, and lessons learned, had to do with Max?”
“What? No! Why would you think that?”
“Don’t insult me or cheapen our friendship, Chantel. Either be honest or tell me to go to hell. But don’t sit there and lie to me.”