The magnitude wasn’t lost on him. Marriages could be undone. Property could be split. The entanglement of a child—children, if he had any say in it—was a far bigger and more permanent commitment.
“I do.”
* * *
“You didn’t tell me there’s such a thing as a babymoon,” Rico said a month later as they toured the empty rooms of their villa, inspecting freshly painted walls, window treatments and light fixtures. Furniture delivery would start next week.
“You’d have seen one by now if you had ever changed a diaper,” she teased. “Instead of handing Lily off to the nanny.”
Rico’s mouth twitched, but he only drew her onto the private balcony off their master bedroom. It made her feel like the queen of the world to stand there looking so far out on the Mediterranean she was sure she glimpsed the cowboy boot of Italy.
“Besides, we’re not there yet.”
After a visit to the doctor a couple of weeks ago, they were officially “trying.” Today, Rico had asked the designer about setting up a nursery when the time comes. The woman had cheerfully promised a quick turnaround on redecorating the room of their choice. “Most couples take a babymoon for a few weeks so we aren’t disrupting their daily life,” the woman had added, then had to explain to Rico what it was.
“We never even had a honeymoon,” he pointed out now.
“There’s been a lot going on. A lot for Lily to adjust to. I wouldn’t want to leave her even now, when we’re about to move into this house and change everything again.”
“We could take her with us.”
“I think that’s called a family vacation, not a honeymoon.”
“You’re full of cheek today, aren’t you?” He gave one of her lower ones a friendly squeeze. “We could take the nanny so we get our alone time. Really put our back into the honeymoon effort. See if we can’t earn ourselves a babymoon.”
She chuckled. “So romantic.” But she kissed him under his chin, ridiculously in love when he was playful like this—
Oh. There it was. The acknowledgment she’d been avoiding. Because if she admitted to herself that she was fully head over heels, she had to face that he wasn’t.
“Romance is not my strong point, but sound logic is.”
He gathered her so her arms were folded against his chest, fingertips grazing his open collar, but his words echoed through the hollow spaces growing wider in her chest.
“The transition is almost finished with the Cabreras,” he continued. “Cesar has some projects he wants me to take the lead on in a couple of months. I won’t have much downtime once I’m knee-deep. This is our window for a getaway. Let’s take it.”
“If you want to,” she murmured, thinking she ought to feel happy. Excited. But she only felt sad. She felt the way she had as a child, wishing her mother and father wanted her. It shouldn’t have mattered. She’d been loved by her grandparents.
But she’d still felt the absence of it from people she thought should love her.
And she felt it again now.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she lied, conjuring a smile. “Where...? Um...where would you want to go?”
“I don’t know. Somewhere that Lily would enjoy and you could play with your new camera. Maybe we could tie in a visit to your grandmother at the end. I know you’re missing her.”
“You wouldn’t mind?”
“Of course not. I wish she would agree to come live with us here. You know you can visit her anytime. I’ll come with you as often as I can.”
“Thank you.” A tiny spark of hope returned. Whenever he doted on her, she thought maybe he was coming to love her. Tentative light crept through her. “Okay. Let’s do it.”
* * *
Two weeks later, they were riding elephants through the rainforests of Thailand.
“This is not camping,” she told him when they arrived at the hidden grotto where sleep pods were suspended in the trees. “Camping is digging a trench around your tent in a downpour at midnight so you don’t drown in your sleep.”