t is. It’s crazy, and it’s my life.
What a fucking mess.
The tears start rolling again and this time I don’t bother to brush them away. I want to feel all of this emotion because it might be my one and only chance to do so. Once this car ride is over it’s time for me to be stronger than I’ve ever been before.
***
The polystyrene cup of lukewarm coffee feels alien in my hands, as do the surroundings that I’m sitting in. Despite my family history I’ve never actually been on the inside of a police station before and it’s weird. The white walls, the mahogany desk, the big window that’s obviously a two way mirror… it’s set up to intimidate me and I really feel that way.
Maybe I shouldn’t have come here, maybe I should have refused and gone to the hospital instead. Who knows what’s going on with Kian now…
I push my chair back ready to stand and get the hell out but before I manage to get my butt off the course plastic underneath me the door swings open and a very fierce, official looking man enters the room. He has the sort of commanding presence that makes me zip my lips shut before I can even open them.
“Now, Tia, I have come to speak with you,” he says in a grave tone as he takes the chair opposite me. He places his elbows on the desk and twists his hands together, making me even more anxious. He wrinkles up his forehead which unnerves me and makes me squirm where I sit. “I know you have already given your statement and I’m sure that you’re keen to go, but before you do I just want to tell you what we have discovered. This is an… unusual situation, unprecedented, so I’m just going to go with it.”
“R… right,” I stammer. “Okay sure.”
My heart thumps in my mouth, I can feel it pounding underneath my tongue. Ice cold nerves swerve in and out of my veins, leaving me all messy inside. I don’t know what the man’s going to say next but I have a feeling that it isn’t going to be good.
Of course it isn’t, it’s about the man who shot Kian, the man who killed Stephen.
“We have the name of the shooter, which I’m sure you’re very interested in.” I nod slowly. “And also I just wanted to let you know that you and Kian were both right about one thing. All of this is connected to something much bigger. There’s a crime organization involved and now thanks to what you’ve given us, we can shut it down.”
“Okay.” I can barely speak now, this is all too much. Is this really happening? Did me and Kian reveal a mafia like criminal organization? How the hell am I supposed to feel about that? Good? Nervous? Happy? I don’t know, I don’t really feel anything. Nothing but an endless numbness that seems to go on forever. “Tell me.”
“The name of the shooter is Adrian Walker.”
His words send a tsunami flowing through my brain. I actually feel like I’ve been punched in the stomach, that someone has winded me. I part my lips a couple of times trying to speak but no words come out. I think I’m afraid to actually speak in case I’m sick.
Adrian Walker shot Kian… he probably killed Stephen too. My father’s business partner, the man I heard him talking about murder with.
Were they plotting to kill Stephen then? Is that what I heard? It was after the cruise, when I just got home and they were discussing someone who had seen something. A witness that needed to be taken care of. I want to scream, I want to cry, I want to turn back time so I could do something about it sooner.
Maybe I could have somehow saved Stephen’s life. Maybe this is all my fault.
“I can tell by your reaction that this is a name you know.”
“It is,” I rasp. There’s no point in denying that much. “He works with my father.”
“Yes,” he drawls slowly. “I thought as much. So I guess it isn’t much of a surprise if I tell you that your father, Billy Daniels, is the man in charge of the operation that we now need to bring down. Does this sound like something you might know about?”
“Yes,” I rasp. “I mean no.” I shake my head violently. “I don’t know anything about it. I mean, I guess I always suspected but I didn’t know for sure.”
Maybe I could mention the conversation now, but I won’t. Telling the cops won’t bring Stephen back and they also don’t need it as evidence since they seem to have absolutely everything that they need already. Telling them would only implicate me and that’s the last thing I need.
“Okay, well unfortunately Adrian Walker has told us everything and he’s given us evidence so we have officers out now arresting you father.” I nod acceptingly, knowing that it’s absolutely necessary. “So I suppose we don’t need anything else from you. I just wanted you to know.”
“Does that mean I can go to the hospital now?” I ask while pushing myself into a standing position. “I need to check on Kian, to see how he is.”
“You can,” he says while standing too. “But only if you think you’re up for it. If there’s someone that you need to talk to…”
“No, there isn’t anyone.”
I need to get out of here, that’s all I care about right now. I need to speak to Kian… and I also maybe need to speak to my mom too. I might be okay with all of this but she won’t be. It’ll kill her to know that Dad’s going to jail. She’ll be falling apart. She needs to know that I did it, not that I knew it was going to be him, and she needs to hear it from me. It will be the hardest phone conversation of my entire life, but I have to do it. I don’t owe the woman much but I do owe her that.
“Okay well I guess…”
I don’t wait for him to finish his sentence, I just go. I push out the door and stalk towards the front door with my feet on the ground. I don’t want anyone to make conversation with me, not now when I’m so near to my escape. The end goal is in mind, Kian is at the forefront of my brain, and that’s really all I need.