When I look up at Pike, his face is something else. I’ve never seen so much pain. I’m fighting through the darkness, but I can’t see the light. Where is it? Help me! He doesn’t hear me. Why can’t he hear me? Daddy!
“Molly,” he says, shaking me, but I can’t speak.
“All they say is all a lie. They all need to die. I want them to bleed, I want them to suffer. They don’t deserve to breathe, they don’t need their lungs, I’ll stab them and cut out their tongues.” I can’t stop giggling and shaking my head. I grab it between my hands and screech so loudly it makes my throat burn.
Pike lifts me over his shoulder and carries me to the bedroom where he sets me on the bed as I rock back and forth. Am I beyond repair? Why doesn’t his love fix me? Doesn’t love fix things?
It’s a strange place, this darkness, as if I visit it willingly. I don’t like it, but the only time I know I’ll return to normal is when Pike is there. I’m not sure what would ever happen if he were to leave. If I’m alone in this world, I’ll live in the dark forever, and I’ll never see the light of the sun again or feel it against my skin. My chest aches at the thought of never looking at Pike again, or getting lost in his blue eyes. He’s my salvation and my sanity, but I’m not sure I deserve him anymore. Maybe I should let him find a happier life with another girl.
The thought makes me shudder. My daddy. If I ever saw him near another female, I’d rip her head clean off. I’d slice her up into tiny, bitty pieces and laugh while I did it. No one deserves Pike, but then I wonder—Do I? He’s good to me. I’m no good for him.
As the sadness engulfs me, I’m still lost in the thoughts of losing him, but then Daddy returns with my medication. The needle jabbed into my arm makes me sleepy and the last thing I see is Pike’s beautiful, yet pained, blue eyes.
His Concern
Pike
I like classic things.
Cars, movies, and of course, the aftershock of fucking my Sweet Molly.
She seems a little distant today, so I decide not to attempt to indulge in the latter, instead I’m sitting on the living room couch flipping through a car magazine. I let out a breath before I decide I’m bored and chuck it across the room. I don’t know what’s wrong with her or why she’s so quiet, but I won’t bother asking her because I’m not in the mood to try and decipher one of her little riddles.
It bothers me that she lets those out more often than not as of late, and I wonder if her mind has finally snapped and sent her spiraling into an abysmal darkness she won’t be able to claw her way out of. I’ve saved her many times before when she was on the brink, though I don’t know if I can save her time and time again. It’s not because I don’t want to, rather, it’s because I think she’s happiest when she’s in a place that only she understands.
There’s room for me in that world—I know it because Molly would never leave me behind, yet I wonder if she honestly wants me to follow her into the pits of her despair. It’s the only way I would truly know she’s safe and I’d gladly fall into Hell just for the distinct pleasure of being able to taste her lips whenever she allowed me the moments to do so.
I tap my fingers along the arm of the couch before I decide to get up and check on her again. She’s been lying in bed all day, mumbling to herself, and holding her favorite dolly close.
I don’t think she was as into me fucking that dead girl as she thought she was or perhaps she’s just finally coming down from the high that left me hours ago.
As quietly as I can manage, I walk down the hallway to our bedroom, then gently push the door open when I reach it. Molls is flat on her back now, arms and legs spread out across the bed, staring vacantly at the ceiling. Her dolly is lying on her chest and she doesn’t look like she’s saying much so I decide to make my move to shake her out of this bullshit madness that threatens to crush her.
“Hey, baby girl,” I say softly from the doorway. Nothing in this world scares me—unless it’s Molly, full swing in one of her moods. Not that I ever believe she would hurt me, because I know she wouldn’t. It’s just the fear of watching her snap in front of me that would fuck me up.