This kiss envelopes all of those emotions, but takes them all to another level. Because with this kiss Enzo loves me.
Slowly, Enzo stops the kiss. Our foreheads touch, keeping our connection. “I lo
ve you, stingray. There will never be another. I will never kiss another. My heart will never bleed for anyone but you. You are my other half. When Milo hurt you, I knew I would never recover. I knew I had failed. I knew I would never forgive myself.”
I may be fucked up, but Enzo is heartbroken. I feel his warm, salty tears flow from his eyes to my cheeks and then to my tongue as I lick the tears away.
“Milo took the only person I have ever cared about. I was stupid for not realizing I love you sooner. Maybe if I did, things would be different now. Maybe I wouldn’t have lost you. Maybe instead of trying to heal you, I would be getting down on one knee right now with a ring worth a small country and proposing. Instead, I will spend the rest of my life suffering.”
I grab both of his cheeks and kiss them, I’ve never wanted to take away his pain so badly. But I won’t. I can’t take his suffering away, all it would end up doing is putting new pain on him. If I told him about the baby, he’d assume it was Milo’s and be even more upset that he let it happen.
And even if tell him the truth, I still can’t love him.
“You can still heal us both,” I say with hope in my eyes.
He sucks in a breath, knowing exactly what I want. He wants it too, although I can tell he feels selfish for wanting me. He doesn’t think he deserves to get to have me even for a night.
He takes my hand gently and kisses it again as he’s done dozens of times tonight. A jolt zooms through my body at the kiss. He feels it too. It’s in his hungry eyes.
“Don’t be gentle. Be the rough, dangerous man I fell in love with. Don’t change for me. I can’t give you hope that I will ever love you again. But don’t try to be someone you are not to gain me back. The old me loved how brave, fearless, and naughty you are. I would never fall for a man who was gentle and tiptoed around my feelings. I want the fierce leader who takes control of everything and pushes me to fight back.”
With each word, I see the Enzo I used to love returning. Almost like what would happen if the prince turned back into the beast. The thirst in his eyes return as his eyes darken. The claws seem to return to his hands. His throat thickens as a low warning growl consumes the room. And his mouth tightens ready to devour me.
My heart skips a beat.
Shit. What was that? It’s just lust. I can’t have anything deeper than that for him.
“I don’t know how to give you anything less than everything, baby.”
He grabs my hips and lifts me up as his mouth attacks mine again. All panic leaves as I get lost in his kiss. Being with Enzo leaves no room in my heart except for being with him.
He possesses everything when he kisses me—my body, my mind, even my heart. I might try to claim my heart back when we are finished, but for now, it’s his.
We fall down on the fluffiest bed I’ve ever laid on, but it doesn’t stop the pressure of Enzo’s body from connecting with mine. I’ll be bruised in the morning, but right now, I want to feel instead of walking on eggshells.
His hands sneak under my shirt and run over my bare belly as he kisses my neck. I can’t focus. I can’t think. My toes curl, and my back arches.
I love having his hands over my belly. And for a moment I let myself imagine the baby is his. That he knows the truth. That we can give up this world, get normal jobs, and go live in a cottage in the woods somewhere.
A tear rolls down my cheek. That will never happen. And I know the baby isn’t Enzo’s. Nothing good ever happens in my life. My life goes from bad to worse. I’m sure the baby is Milo’s.
“Baby? What’s wrong?” Enzo says, lazily rubbing his hand over my stomach.
This is all I’ll ever get. Enzo doesn’t get to be the father, even the stand-in father. He doesn’t get to go with me to doctor appointments. He doesn’t get to watch my stomach grow, my feet swell, and my boobs ache. He doesn’t get to be there for the birth. He doesn’t get to help me make the decisions about how to raise our child. He doesn’t get to be there. Because even though Enzo may be the only man I could ever love, he’s also the man who has brought too much danger into my life.
So this is all my child will ever get from the only father my child could ever know. His palm pressed against my stomach. Enzo showing me how much he loves me even though I can never show it back—this is it.
“Nothing is wrong; this is perfect.”
I wipe my tears and Enzo returns to his hungry kisses, hesitantly at first, but then he slowly realizes I’m fine.
My shirt comes off. Then his.
My boxers inch down my hips, but other than kissing my lips and neck, Enzo hasn’t moved any further south.
I watch as he reaches into the drawer next to the bed where the vibrators are and grabs one.
“I want you,” I say, sternly.