Her breathing picks up from lazy moans to quick pants. Her teeth bite down on her bottom lip, trying to stifle any impending scream about to rip through her body with her orgasm. One hand stays buried between her legs, but her other hand curls up under her tank top to grab her breast. I can just make out her dark nipple beneath the white tank top. She moans as flicks the bud with her fingers.
I wait for the most explosive orgasm of either of our lives. I don’t care if watching her is wrong. It feels right. Like I was meant to be here in this moment to watch her.
She’s so close. Yes! I moan silently, egging her on. Needing her to feel all the pleasure of the world.
Suddenly, the moment approaches. The orgasm hangs on the edge of her body, but it never comes.
I’ve brought her to orgasm enough times to know this was the moment. She did all the right things. Her body was responding. I can smell the wetness of her sex in the air. But no matter what she did, it never happened. She didn’t come.
And I don’t need a connection to her to be able to see the frustration on her face.
She spreads her arms and legs out like a star in the bed, completely exacerbated with her body. Her eyes are closed, and she pants hard, like she just finished running for her life.
“Is the attack over?” she says suddenly. She still hasn’t opened her eyes. I’m surprised she knows I’m here.
“Yes,” I say at the same time I clear my throat, so it comes out muffled and strained.
She sighs and sits up, pulling the covers over her waist as she does.
“When do you think the next raid will happen?” she asks, acting like I didn’t just watch her almost come like a pervert. And like she isn’t sexually frustrated as hell and needs a release more than I need to breathe.
I shrug. “Probably tomorrow. So far, there has only been one attack a day, but I know my father. Soon he will increase the attacks until all we are doing is fighting off enemies. I would also guess he has more up his sleeve than invasions; I just haven’t figured out what yet.”
She yawns and stretches her arms up in a high V above her body. “Well, you’ll be ready for whatever attacks come our way. I have no doubt about that.”
I nod, but I’m not thinking about what onslaughts are coming. Or how the hell I’m going to keep her safe. I’m thinking about how much my chest aches because she didn’t get to come.
“When is the last time you made yourself come?” I ask.
Her eyes widen into large green orbs. I don’t think she’s going to answer me. We may have kissed, but she’s made it clear she won’t make a mistake like that again. She doesn’t want me anymore.
“I haven’t come since the night we were together.”
I exhale all the air in my lungs in a furry, and it feels like a hurricane sized swell just left my body. The pain on her face at not being able to make herself come is one thing, but the emotion I feel is another. I’m in so much fucking pain. Because I can tell from the way she’s looking at me, she’s not sure she’s going to be able to make herself come again. And that is not acceptable.
“Do you trust me?” I ask. Fuck, why did I ask that? Of course, she doesn’t trust me. She doesn’t love me. I’m one-half of her nightmares. She has a secret she won’t tell me. And hearing her say she doesn’t trust me will only drive the knife deeper into my heart.
“Yes,” she breathes.
Wait…what?
“You trust me?” I ask again.
She nods. “I trust you.”
“Why?” I really can’t help myself. I need to stop talking.
“Because you are the only person who loves me. I trust that you won’t purposefully hurt me. You will do everything to protect me, even if it isn’t enough.”
My heart clenches at her words. So true, yet so painful.
“I want to show you something,” I say.
I hold out my hand to her, not expecting her to take it. But she does. I pull her out of the bed. She’s wearing my boxer shorts and a white tank top. Her hair hangs down in messy strands.
“Beautiful,” I exhale.
She grins timidly. Like if she grins too much, she will let her guard down and do something she sees as stupid, like fall in love with me again.