The pain of her words hurts me, but I deserve them. Because I hurt Liesel. And she will never forgive me for it, just like I can’t forgive myself for hurting her to win a stupid game.
So I turn and walk to the door that unlocks now that I’ve succeeded in my mission.
I won the second game, but somehow, I also lost. I let the monster out, and now that he’s free, it’s going to take everything to cage him again.
I let the monster win, and I lost everything in the process.
Fuck you, father.
21
KAI
I PICK UP THE GUN.
I know it’s the deadliest weapon. The only one I know how to yield because Zeke taught me.
How ironic that one of the men respo
nsible for teaching me how to use a gun will be the first I use my skills on.
Ironic and sad. Because I don’t want to hurt him. But the only way to save Enzo from himself is by ending this—fast.
As quickly as possible.
The other weapons would only draw it out. I don’t know how to use a whip. I’ve thrown a knife, but that was mostly luck, and I can’t get that close and hurt Zeke. He’s not tied up. He would never let me hurt him. The only weapon where I can keep my distance and still hurt him is a gun.
I hold the metal in my hand, hoping that me holding it will be enough for Zeke to change his mind. Enough for him to stop this.
“Don’t make me hurt you, Zeke. End this. I will have only won two rounds. I won’t win more than two rounds. I don’t want to be Black any more than you want me to.”
“I can’t. We don’t know what the next round will be. We don’t know if Enzo will be able to beat you. I can’t let you win this round,” Zeke says, still keeping his hands in his pockets. He doesn’t look afraid. Not one bit. He doesn’t think I’ll shoot him, but he forgets how much I love Enzo. I will do whatever I can to save him.
“Enzo is strong enough. He can win at anything.”
Zeke shakes his head. “He’s strong, but so are you. You are more equal in this fight than either of your fathers ever imagined you would be. Enzo may have grown up in this world. He may be better prepared, but your father prepared you more in the single day he sold you than Enzo’s father prepared Enzo over the course of a lifetime. You developed more strength in a single day facing that kind of pain and loss of control than Enzo ever has.”
I hate Zeke for speaking the truth.
He stares down at the gun I’m loosely gripping. “You’ll shoot me; I don’t doubt it. You might even kill me in order to save Enzo. You love him. You want to protect him. But you forget you aren’t the only one who loves him. I love him too. And I love you. And I will do what I can to protect you both—including die. My life means nothing compared to yours.”
Who hurt you, Zeke?
“The love between you two is epic. It’s the kind of love that only happens once in a million times. A love that will bring about change. Maybe it will end the world, or maybe it will save it. But it’s that big of a love. You have already figured that out, and as soon as Enzo stops fighting it, he will realize he loves you too. And once you declare your love to each other, you will be unstoppable.”
Tears, dammit.
So many tears pour down my face. Zeke is as hurt and broken as Enzo and I am. Why didn’t I realize it before? Why did I let him get hurt the first time? This would be so much easier if I didn’t already care about Zeke. If I hadn’t already betrayed and hurt him.
“Dammit, Zeke,” I say, dabbing at my eyes with my shirt.
He smiles gently, like the gentle giant he is. Any woman would be lucky to love a man like Zeke. He shouldn’t give up his chance to save Enzo and me.
I hold up my hand; the gun pointed at Zeke as I feel my time running out. Already, Enzo could have hurt Liesel. He could have whipped her. Beat her. Hurt her. And I can’t let him.
“Please, Zeke, just tell me,” I whisper through my tears.
“It’s okay,” he says, knowing what I have to do, but it doesn’t change what he does.