“Lie,” I say as we both slam another drink down.
Kai wasn’t kidding about getting drunk. With the number of shots we are drinking, we are going to be completely hammered.
The ship heaves again—and maybe that’s a good thing. She will pass out and be able to sleep through the storm.
“I forgave myself for selling you.”
She frowns like my lie is painful to her. It shouldn’t be. She will never forgive me, and I will never be able to either.
“Lie,” she says quietly. We both drink, but it’s more somber this time.
She bites her lip, considering her next truth or lie.
“I could never forgive you,” she says.
“Truth,” I sigh, knowing it’s true.
She shakes her head. “I already forgave you.”
My pupils dilate, and my heart races as if she admitted her deepest secret. She didn’t, but the emotions that spill from her words consume me. How can she forgive me? She’s lying—to me or to herself.
What I did was unforgivable. But we are both too drunk for me to argue with her about it now. So I keep playing the game instead.
If she wants to get deep, then so will I.
“I killed my father,” I say, admitting something I’ve never said to anyone.
Kai looks at the scars she can see on my hands. She looks at the pain in my eyes and the fire in my soul. She’s seen how black my heart can get. I’ve never told her any stories about how my father trained me. I’ve never told her stories about how cruel my father could be. But she knows. She sees the evidence on my skin and heart.
She didn’t kill her father for what he did to her. But I did mine. And she will probably hate me for stooping to his level.
“Good, he deserved to die. Did you make him suffer?”
“Yes, when I became stronger than him, I snuck into his office. I made him bleed on every surface of the office he loved and then painted the walls with his blood. Only when he showed how weak he could be, did I kill him.”
She licks her lips like what I just said turned her on.
I shake my head. We are two messed up motherfuckers.
The boat rocks and I wince, preparing for the fear and pain on her face. She downs her last shot.
“I’m not afraid of the water anymore. The rocking doesn’t scare me. Not when there is something so much more treacherous I fear.”
Milo?
Does Milo now consume all her thoughts that she no longer has more than one fear?
I don’t get to tell her I think it’s a truth. I don’t get to ask her what she’s terrified of. Because she launches herself on top of me, her lips meeting mine as her hips grind onto my crotch.
We’ve both drank so much our bodies literally shouldn’t be able to fuck at our level of intoxication. But with one kiss I sober up quickly, and my cock hardens into stone.
Her tongue dips into my mouth as if she’s been doing it for years, and I’m the liquid she yearns to taste, not the liquor. She tastes like cheap alcohol. It should turn me off; instead, it makes me crave more.
Shit, now I’m going to want to drink Jager all the time because it reminds me of her.
I slip my hand under her shirt, letting her cool skin ease my senses. The self-control it takes to keep the devil inside instantly takes over when I touch her. Her skin makes me feel human in a way I haven’t felt since I was a young kid.
She makes me think I’m not a monster. But I’m just fooling myself. She only pushes the monster away for a few minutes while I focus on her.