So instead, I push into her opening as I grab her ass and surrender my body to her. I’ve never felt this way before whenever I’ve had sex with a woman. I don’t just want to bring her pleasure. I want to make her mine in every way possible. I want to rule her world and her mind. I want her to never think about anything other than me.
She smiles at me, then arches her back, and I lose her pretty eyes to the pleasure pulsing through her body.
“Look at me, beautiful.”
She slowly tilts her head back to me and forces her eyes open.
“Gorgeous.”
She blushes and stays with me as I feel us both building.
I try to tell her everything with my body. That I love her.
That I want more than a fake marriage.
But I’m terrified of hurting her.
I don’t know how to protect her from the damage I’m capable of. Because for as much crap as I give Sebastian, I’ve been there. I’ve never abused alcohol and drugs, but I’ve buried myself in women or work. No matter what damage it caused other people.
I don’t know how to treat Larkyn as a partner. I don’t know how to truly let her into my life.
I come inside her as she screams her own orgasm. And as much as I desperately tried to tell her how I’m feeling, she doesn’t have a clue at my inner turmoil.
Larkyn grins mischievously, as she fluffs my hair that is drenched in the disgusting sauce.
“I told you I could make it taste better,” she says, with a wink.
I laugh and lift her off the counter. “Sorry, but it tasted disgusting the entire time. You have officially squashed any more dreams of getting to lick marinara sauce of your body.”
She grabs a handful of the sauce from the pot next to me and flings it at me.
I duck, and the sauce scatters on the floor around me, but mostly misses me.
I grab her, lifting her up before she has a chance to attack me with the gross liquid again.
She squeals and flails in my arms as I carry her to the shower in her bedroom.
“Why aren’t we showering in yours? Your shower is bigger.”
I chuckle. I put her down on her feet in the shower. “Because I didn’t want to drip gross marinara sauce in my bedroom or shower.”
She scoops some off her chest and rubs it into my face while I grimace.
“Don’t lie, you love it.”
I turn the water on and watch her squeal as the cold water comes down on top of her. I love the sound. Just like I love everything about her.
I should break up with her. It would be the right thing to do. Release her from our contract. Set her up in a nice home and let her live her life in peace.
But my heart has fallen into the deepest part of love. I can’t stop it. I can’t control it. And I know that this is going to end horribly. Because I’m less than perfect. I’m a human with plenty of flaws. And one of those flaws is going to come crashing into our lives and screw us both, until I’m left with nothing, but heartache and pain.
I love her. But I’m not enough for her. She’s going to realize it as soon as I fuck up. I’ve managed to hang on this long, maybe I can stop myself from fucking up for years, so that I can at least have some more time with her.
Or maybe, I should break up with her, and spare her the heartbreak before she falls in love with me.
17
Larkyn