I hit the brakes and place both hands on my ears as if that will stop the voices from screaming louder in my head.
My breathing is non-existent. My heartbeat escalates like a heavy weight is perched on my chest.
No.
No one will find me. They can’t.
Just because the solicitor did, doesn’t mean my past will come rushing back in.
It takes me several minutes to compose myself and drive to my flat. All the way there, I watch the rear-view mirror and over my shoulder, imagining a hand coming out of nowhere.
By the time I reach the reception area, I’m a hot mess of screwed up nerves. My head is crowded with the screams and the cries of the victims’ families, and the way they asked me why.
I didn’t even know myself. How could I answer them?
“Ms Harper.” Paul in reception intercepts me, lowering the volume of the TV.
I come to a halt and plaster on a smile. “Hey, Paul. How are you?”
“Good. Have you moved out?”
“Yes, temporarily. I’m keeping the lease, though.”
“I…see.” He tips his lips up, but I don’t miss the pause. “There’s a new package for you.”
My heartbeat skyrockets with something a lot different than the reason behind the solicitor’s visit.
Alicia’s voice message.
“Where is it?”
Paul retrieves a small box from under the counter like the other time.
I take it with a slight smile. “I’ll drop by to check my mail, but can you call me whenever I get any others?”
“Definitely, Miss.”
“Thank you so much, Paul.” I motion at the empty sofa in an awkward attempt to make conversation. “No Shelby today?”
“He’s not feeling well.” His cockney accent is thicker than usual as he slides his gaze back to the Premier League football game on TV.
I thank him again and count the minutes until I’m in my flat. As soon as I’m inside, I shrug off my jacket, kick my shoes away, and run to my TV. I plug the flash drive in and press Play.
Like the other time, there’s silence at the beginning before Alicia’s voice trickles in.
“I lied to you, Claire, and I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have, but I thought I was protecting you. I thought the only way to protect you was to keep you in the dark. Maybe that wasn’t my brightest decision, but I want you to know how much it pains me to have one hair on your head hurt. I hope you forgive me for what I’m about to confess.”
Her voice goes dead.
I skip ahead, but just like the other time, the recording is over.
Damn it.
It’s like whoever sent this is playing a distasteful joke on me.
I slump in front of my TV, the screen blank, and pull my knees to my chest.
What could she have meant about keeping me in the dark? Was it about the devil we both knew? Though Alicia hardly met him. She usually came to me at school, not at home.