The more I learn about her, the more shame I feel for not taking the time to get to know her as much as she knew me.
True, I was too young and focused on something more sinister, but that doesn’t give me the right to believe Alicia was all that she showed to be on the outside.
Ignoring Margot’s warning, I leave the room and head to the staircase we took earlier. There’s another set of marble stairs that lead to the third floor.
At first, I keep glancing behind my back, expecting Margot to show up and drag me down by the hair.
I shake my head at that image. Not everyone is the devil from my past.
No idea why Jonathan didn’t give me a room here, considering the floor is similar to the second one. Why do I feel like he likes to feel superior, even when it comes to the bedroom I’ll be staying in?
I try the first door, but it’s locked. Who the hell locks a door in his own house? Or did he do this because I’ll be here from now on?
The fact that it’s locked bugs me.
When I was young, I loved riddles, puzzles, and figuring out solutions. I used to love staking out, holding my breath, and waiting for prey to come out of their hiding places.
He taught me those things. The devil.
I followed him without knowing what he was capable of. I followed him because I trusted him, and that was the biggest mistake of my existence.
After he disappeared from my life, it took me so long to rid myself of habits associated with him, such as my love for puzzles and riddles. I erased every habit he’d brainwashed into me, I stopped believing in things I’d thought were a given, like love, care, and even puzzles.
Eleven years later, I still feel out of sorts when there’s a puzzle that I can’t solve. Like right now.
The locked door is a puzzle I have to walk away from.
Again.
With a deep breath, I go to the next door. It’s a conference room. Bloody hell. Does the tyrant bring his entire office here?
The next is a reception area with high back chesterfield sofas and a massive golden chandelier hanging from the ceiling.
The moment I open the following room, it hits me.
Her scent. It’s like summer breeze and marshmallow. Vanilla, lemon, and brightness.
It’s crazy how I remember Alicia’s smell eleven years later, and how I can smell it here, even though she’s been gone for a long time.
Sweat trickles down my back and my hands shake as I release the doorknob and stroll inside. The room is clean, but all the furniture is covered with white sheets.
Like a coffin.
I never got the chance to say goodbye to her at her funeral. I never got to say goodbye at all.
My legs barely carry me as I run my fingers over the angel statues on her console. I open the first drawer, the sound echoing in the silence. Her elegant jewellery and makeup are tucked neatly in there.
I go to her wardrobe and it’s full of her clothes. The fashion is eleven years outdated, but it’s posh and refined, like everything about Alicia. I hug a dress to my face and inhale it. It doesn’t have her scent.
It’s faded away, vanished. Just like her.
A tear slides from my cheek and wets the cloth. I hang it back where I found it and close the wardrobe.
I move to her bed, where a few books sit on her bedside table.
There’s no dust on them. Like the entire room, they’re cleaned and taken care of. The pages have turned yellowish though.
The three books are black with a bold white font for the title.