I stand in front of my half-empty canvas, staring blankly.
It’s been going this way for… hours.
The muse has been escaping me and I don’t know how to catch it — or if it’s possible to catch it in the first place.
The only painting I did today was Levi’s T-shirts. I even took my time in painting the ‘Manwhore’ all over his ‘King’ title.
Why am I the only one who gets called names in RES when he’s the actual manwhore?
Even I heard about the epic affair last year. He fucked a biology teacher in the lab for weeks until the principal walked in on them.
The said teacher is banned from all schools and she moved out of the country.
True he was a minor at the time, but why the hell was he treated as a victim?
Not to mention all the girls who always brag about sleeping with the arsehole and how good it felt. Said girls have been making my life hell because of him.
The satisfaction from sneaking into the lockers and painting all his belongings in red still hums under my skin.
At these moments, when I’m letting my true free-spirit loose, I can’t help remembering Mum. She rooted spontaneity in me and taught me to never put on a mask.
Masks will suffocate you, Star.
She should’ve thought of the possibility where Dad would have custody of me.
In his house, all I can wear is a mask. The thought of screwing up and letting him down terrifies me.
After all, he’s all I have left.
Nicole made sure to swing by the art studio earlier and announce that we’re having a family dinner tonight. According to her, it’s fine if I miss. In fact, I should miss since I’ll only make a fool out of myself.
I considered showing up just to piss her off, but the thought of Dad’s cold, disapproving stares made me change my mind.
I procrastinated enough until it’s almost nine when RES closes its doors. It’s not like I can spend the night in the art studio.
After cleaning the brushes and putting the supplies in the drawers, I close the door on my way out.
Walking down the vast halls, I stick my earbuds in and let Supremacy by Muse fill my senses.
An eerie, calm atmosphere fills the school’s walls at this time of night. The only active students indoors are the book and chess clubs. Many athletes practise outside this late.
This is the best time to enjoy RES’s massive architecture and the ancient history of the building. No snobbishness or bullying can ruin the mood.
Dan texted me earlier saying he was going to a ‘Meet Up’ with the team — which is apparently some secret hang out place for RES’s football team starters. He offered to pick me up, but I declined and told him to have fun.
Still, I can’t help the streak of jealousy and doubt.
Even though Dan used his position in the team to lure girls, he was never really that into the game. It feels like I’m losing my best friend to the stupid football team.
Besides, there’s no way all these invitations to both the team and their secret partying place are a coincidence.
It could be that I’m being over paranoid, though. I hate the idea of drifting away from my best buddy. If this is another tactic from Levi, then I’m punching his gorgeous face and totally leaving bruises.
I cross the car park on my way to the side exit. It’s the perfect place to catch a taxi without getting all tangled in the traffic in front of the main building.
The bright white light illuminates my way as I retrieve my phone.
Astrid: u’re having fun?