She hadn’t known how badly she’d needed her until she’d found her again and found the courage to let go of her anger and forgive.
She just wished the pain in her heart would ease. Not even the peace she’d made with her sister and the forgiveness she’d found for her mother had eased it. And it was getting worse, especially since Melissa had given her the pin code for her phone—it turned out she’d used Stefano’s birthday—and she’d gone through all her photos and videos. There was one video where she’d sneakily filmed Stefano taking a shower. The footage showed his start of surprise when he’d spotted her, then his wolfish grin as he’d opened the glass shower door. The footage went dark when he grabbed her phone and threw it onto the floor.
He’d then grabbed her, she remembered, and dragged her fully clothed into the shower with him. Her clothes hadn’t stayed on for much longer.
Her heart ached to think of him and when she closed her eyes all she could see was the despair on his face when she’d walked away.
She had never seen him like that before, not her strong, powerful husband. She’d seen him in passion and in anger but never in wretched defeat.
A fresh wave of pain hit her as she imagined him now and all he was having to cope with.
He’d been coping with it ever since she’d burst into his boardroom.
He was dealing with a father who’d been alive his whole life while he’d thought him dead. A father who had wanted him when no one else in his family had cared enough to even buy him shoes that fitted. He was dealing with a sister he hadn’t known existed until a few months ago, his first true familial relationship since he’d been seven.
And now he was having to deal with the knowledge that he and Anna had conceived a child together but that its tiny life had died before he could even celebrate its conception.
She knew too that he carried guilt over his treatment of her.
It was a heavy burden for him to carry and he was having to carry it on his own.
But he probably wasn’t alone, she scolded herself. This was Stefano she was thinking of; his bed was never empty for more than a week.
Immediately she castigated herself. He’d b
een faithful to her throughout their marriage and it was wrong of her to make assumptions now. She’d leapt to conclusions when she’d found Christina in their apartment and had been paying the price for it ever since. For all the horrendous wrongs he’d done, the only solid image in her mind was Stefano watching her leave his apartment, as haunted and haggard as she had ever seen him.
He’d asked her if they could start again...
But she’d dismissed him.
He hadn’t wanted her to go.
She shook her head to clear it. She would have to see him in person soon. She needed to be strong, not let doubts creep in.
He’d had doubts. He’d tried to stop the revenge he’d plotted down to the smallest detail from being carried out.
He’d asked her if they could start again...
Discovering the truth that night in San Francisco had been the most soul-destroying thing she had ever lived through. Learning that he’d seduced her and made her fall in love with him for revenge... She’d understood all this at the same moment the awful memories of their parting and the miscarriage had come back to her. The two had become a singular issue in her mind and the pain it all had unleashed had been too much to bear.
Time apart had given her some perspective.
He’d told her he wanted to start their marriage afresh and she’d dismissed it without properly listening to what he was saying. He’d told her he wanted to start their marriage again after she’d told him she loved him. This from the man who didn’t do forgiveness or love.
Melissa’s voice cut through her rambling thoughts. ‘You okay, chook?’
‘Sorry? Chook?’
‘Mum says it’s an Aussie term of endearment.’
Anna’s lips twitched but that was the nearest thing to a smile she could muster.
‘Anna? You okay?’
She blinked herself back into focus and shook her head. ‘I don’t think I am.’
‘What? You’re not okay?’ Alarm spread across Melissa’s face. ‘Are you feeling unwell? Are you going to be sick again?’