Her voice trails off as her eyes probe mine, looking for encouragement, perhaps. Encouragement that I’m happy to give.
‘It’s okay, Mamma. I understand and I want you to be happy. It’s all Dani and I could want for you.’
Her eyes spill over, the tears trailing down her cheeks as her fingers tremble more. ‘Grazie, figliolo. Grazie.’
I sense movement to our left and look to see Faye turning away. ‘Faye!’
She stops and turns to us, her smile apologetic.
I look back to my mother and she is smiling all the more now. ‘I want you to be happy too, Rafael. Go. Speak to Faye.’
Her eyes are all-knowing, and I frown as it puts the fear of God in me. I’m not about to... Does she think I’m...?
It doesn’t matter what she thinks. Just speak to Faye and say what you planned to say.
Which is what, exactly?
* * *
I wait for Rafael to catch me up. Yes, I left in the middle of the night—or the early hours of the morning, depending on how you want to look at it—but I didn’t want this conversation. I didn’t want to succumb to the inner pressure that’s begging me to ask for more. Because how much more can this man truly offer?
I’m not so deluded as to think myself capable of changing him. I’m better to cut my losses and run.
‘Hi,’ I manage to say calmly.
‘Morning. You left before...’
My eyes lift to his and I see the hesitancy in his expression. My stomach flutters, my heart too, every bit of me so attuned to him and his alien uncertainty.
‘I was... I was trying to make goodbye easier.’
‘By leaving before we could talk?’
I frown at him. What is there to say other than what we already know: that this is over? And I know we can’t have this conversation in the middle of the entrance hall. I move into a side room that looks as though it was once a library and hear him follow.
‘I wanted to leave on a high.’ I try to sound cheerful as I turn to face him. ‘It was a fabulous day, and a perfect night! We don’t need to spoil it with...’
My nonchalant shrug fails miserably and he reaches out, his hand gentle on my arm.
‘Then let’s not spoil it with goodbye.’
I laugh breathlessly. ‘It is goodbye, Rafael. I fly back to England today and you go back to your life, wherever that may take you.’
‘You could stay longer; you could stay here with me. I’d like it if you stayed.’
My heart races in my chest, too excited, too hopeful.
‘You’d like me to stay?’
He nods swiftly.
‘In your Tuscan castle, just me and you?’
‘Si, cara mia.’ He is so sincere. ‘I want you to stay with me, Faye.’
‘And in a month or two?’ I force myself to ask. ‘What then?’
He frowns, pales even.