He closed his eyes and kissed her once more. ‘Off you go.’
She nodded but he could tell she wanted to say more...so much more...and he didn’t want to hear it. He rose up and closed her door, turning back to see Sophia still on the threshold, her hat and gloves clutched to her chest, her eyes averted and skin pale.
‘What did you think you were doing?’
She started like a frightened rabbit, her eyes coming to him, wide and glinting. ‘She wanted to play in the snow just one last time before...before we left.’
He stalked towards her, his anger fizzing in his bloodstream. ‘And you thought that was wise, with a storm on its way?’
He threw a hand in the direction of the outdoors, shaking his head in disbelief. ‘Anything could have happened, Sophia. Anything.’
‘It was...it was f-fine when we left. The sky was virtually clear, the lights were dancing, and Lily... Lily just wanted to play some more in the snow.’
‘At the lake! You, of all people, should know better than that!’
He was shaking inside and out as he loomed before her now. He couldn’t stop. He was so afraid, so angry. He needed her to see what she had done, to realise the danger in it. If he had lost Lily—hell, if he had lost Sophia too... And she looked so tiny right now, so fragile and easily broken, her auburn hair a crazy mess around her porcelain complexion.
He reached for her, gripping her forearms, grateful that she was living and breathing in his hold even as the words tumbled out of him. ‘What if you’d fallen, what if she’d slipped, what if you’d cracked your head open on a rock, then what? What would have happened?’
She inhaled sharply, her eyes widening, the tears quick to well. ‘How could you say that to me?’
He stared at her, saw the hurt in her eyes, the pain, the anguish, and his stomach lurched. She wasn’t seeing him; she was seeing the death of her sister all over again. After all he’d said, after he’d encouraged her to move on, to believe she wasn’t to blame.
‘Sophia...’ He cursed, squeezing his eyes shut and opened them again, his head shaking. ‘I didn’t mean...’
She pulled out of his grasp, stepping backward, her own head shaking, the tears spilling over. ‘You meant it.’
‘Sophia, I just... I couldn’t go there again, after Elena, after she’d run out...the accident... I have to keep Lily safe...and you, you were out there...’
She was still shaking her head, her whole body trembling. ‘You told me it wasn’t my fault. You told me I shouldn’t live in fear of the past. You told me to face up to it and move on.’
‘I did and you should.’
She was heading for her room now and he was torn between Lily in his suite and Sophia across the hall. ‘Sophia, please, come back. Let’s talk this through.’
‘No, Jack,’ she threw at him over her shoulder. ‘I fell in love with you for so many reasons...’ Her voice cracked and her lashes fluttered over her eyes as more tears escaped, each and every one killing him. ‘But being a hypocrite wasn’t one of them.’
‘Sophia, please, I’m sorry. Tell me what I can do to fix this.’
She shook her head. ‘It’s too late for that, Jack.’
He stepped forward again as she unlocked the door to her room, desperate, pleading. ‘Please, I love you.’
She pushed the door open and turned to him. For a second he dared to hope, dared to believe she could give him a chance.
‘I love you too, Jack...but without trust...’
She looked away, her breath shuddering through her.
He frowned, his palms outstretched emphatically. ‘I do trust you.’
He did. He felt that trust all the way to his bones. He trusted her more than he had anyone else in his life, but she wouldn’t even look at him, her body shuddering with every breath she took.
‘I’m not sure you know how to trust, or how to move on from Elena.’
She took another breath, slower this time, her chin lifting, her eyes raking over him before coming back to meet his eyes coldly. It was admirable even that she could find the strength from somewhere.
‘Goodbye, Jack. Give Lily my love. Tell her she can write to me if she likes. I’ll find my own way home.’