‘She’s not lying about the E numbers,’ Sophia warned him. ‘Choose wisely.’
He laughed as Lily pleaded, ‘Please, Daddy!’
‘Okay, okay, I don’t see why not.’
Sophia and Samantha both smiled at him.
‘What can I say—she has me wrapped around her little finger.’
‘Nothing wrong with that, Jack,’ Samantha said, nodding her approval.
‘No, nothing at all.’ Sophia’s voice had a softness to it, kind of wistful. He caught her eye and she quickly shifted her attention to Samantha and party preparations, food and things that Jack really knew little about.
He was a good father now. He knew he was—he put Lily first in everything. But party planning, kids’ get-togethers, games...there he was lacking.
And did that mean Lily was too?
He spent the rest of the meal listening to both sides of the table, mentally taking notes and accepting that perhaps it was time for a change. He just had no idea where to start.
He was still pondering it long after they’d taken Sam and Noah home, Sophia heading back to the hotel with them, thanks to a pleading Lily who wanted a bedtime story. Not from him, but from her.
The alarm bells were starting to ring in earnest. How long could they keep up the association before Lily became attached? And if she did become attached, what did that mean for the future?
He approached Lily’s door, his bare feet quiet on the marble floor, and listened. He could hear Sophia’s soft, dulcet tones as she read from Lily’s latest book, felt the soothing effect of her voice over himself too and he no longer questioned his daughter’s choice. Given the option, he’d opt for Sophia to read to him too.
He reached the gap in the door and stilled; his heart caught in his chest. Sophia was in his place, fulfilling the role he had done almost every night for the last three years. She was lying on Lily’s bed, her arm hooked around Lily, Baby Bear tucked between them as she read.
He dropped back a little, wanting to remain inconspicuous, wanting nothing to disturb the perfect scene before him. He could see Lily was drifting off, her eyes slowly closing before snapping wide again. She was doing her best to stay awake, but tiredness was winning out. And Sophia was doting on her. Every now and then she’d nuzzle into Lily and place a kiss to her brow, stroke her hair or brush it from her eyes. They looked so perfect together, so...normal.
He told himself it was because he wasn’t used to it. That it had been so long since he’d witnessed anyone else in this role.
He told himself it had nothing to do with his feelings towards Sophia.
He also told himself he was a liar.
&nb
sp; He settled against the doorframe and just watched, a slight smile lifting his lips as he let the vision work its magic over him. He couldn’t deny that a part of him wished this was the norm. That Lily had a mother and he had a wife, and all was merry and bright.
Only he knew the truth of it. Life wasn’t like that. It wasn’t all roses and happily ever afters.
He worked hard to be able to provide for his daughter; he worked hard to ensure that money was never an obstacle, but he couldn’t control life outside of that.
And he couldn’t control his heart either. He wasn’t capable of loving another like they deserved to be loved. He could love Lily, he could be there for Lily, but over and above that...no.
He’d tried once with Elena and failed.
He’d witnessed too many failed marriages before that too, lived with too many messed-up kids who were the unlucky result of such marriages and he had no interest in exposing Lily to that kind of life. It was safer just the two of them; there was less that could go wrong, fewer variables at play.
And now you sound like you’re talking about a business deal...
But then he had a head for business. He’d promised Elena, sworn on her dead body, that he would do everything to make amends for what he’d done. That he would keep Lily safe, he would love her and cherish her, and be there for her. He had no room in his life for more, for someone as beautiful and enchanting as the woman now cuddling his sleeping child in her arms.
A weight settled in his gut as he pushed himself off the doorframe and made his presence known, realising as Sophia caught his eye that, regardless of his promise and all that he had sworn to live by, a small part of him wished things could be different.
It was the same part that wasn’t ready to let Sophia out of their lives just yet.
‘Hi,’ he whispered.