Shit. Don’t tar her with the same brush.
I shut it all down and look at the view.
‘Sorry,’ she says. ‘I know it’s hard for you...the past. It’s hard for me too—but we have to face it head-on if we’re to get through this.’
My eyes fall to hers. ‘And will we? Face this together when the time comes?’
She hooks her fingers through my hair, drawing me in. ‘Yes. Together.’
She kisses me and all my doubts dissolve in the heat of her.
I trust her.
I love her.
And when the time is right I will tell her.
But not before she does what she says she will: confronts her family, Nate, and puts me first. Proves to me that her love has no conditions. Then I’ll know for sure.
So, do you really trust her?
I groan with frustration, with need, as I kiss her hard, punishingly. I want to trust her—that’s the point.
I tear my lips from her mouth and let my mouth travel to her throat. I nip her skin. ‘I want you.’
It’s as much as I can confess—as much as my heart and body will let me confess.
‘I want you too.’
She forks her fingers through my hair, tugging me down, arching her body, her nipples already like marbles beneath her top.
I take one into my mouth, tease her through the fabric, drop my fingers to the apex of her thighs...
For now we have this, and I’m going to take it all.
Tomorrow we’ll return home and face it together.
As one.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
TUESDAY MORNING REALITY HITS—as it has to—only it’s softened by the bed I wake up in: his.
The smell of fresh coffee greets me as I stroll into the kitchen and I know he’s already gone. He warned me he had to be in Edinburgh early, for a meeting, that he would be away for a couple of days, but the fact he’s set the coffee machine going in time for my wake-up call brings the goofiest of smiles to my face.
I could get used to this.
I know I have a huge ordeal ahead, breaking the news of us to my family, but it’s the right thing. We are right. And the past has to be dealt with. Sooner rather than later. I want this Christmas to be special, I want Lucas in it.
I turn on the radio as I potter around the kitchen. Slade’s ‘Merry Xmas Everybody’ fills the air and I’m dancing. Happy. Truly festive.
I am so convinced everything will be okay that I spend the next few days in a bubble.
By day I work, ticking off my back-to-back meetings as promised, sticking to my plan and being fair to all concerned.
By night I enjoy the countdown to Christmas. I hit the shops, I wrap presents, I decorate my mini-tree, bringing a much-needed pop of colour to the otherwise bland apartment, and I look forward to Friday. To seeing Lucas. My future. Our future.
I don’t forget about Friday night’s meal. I don’t forget that Dad has promised to talk with Nate. I just have faith in my family to get things right this time.