‘No.’ Not yet I’m not. I had a plan. And it ended with me giving Jackson what-for and demanding an explanation. But the idea doesn’t appeal so much now. Not after Blondie’s arrival. Not now my outfit feels more ridiculous than fun and I feel about as attractive as Rudolph, only my whole face is blushing, not just my nose.
Maybe I just need to freshen up...
‘Why don’t you guys grab a table?’ I say, ‘I’m popping to the ladies’.’
‘I’ll join you,’ Coco’s quick to say, hooking her arm through mine and practically dragging me away. I feel a pep talk coming on.
Hell, I could probably do with one of those too.
* * *
Ash and I watch as the ladies walk off and I have to keep my teeth glued together to stop myself gawping. Ash is too busy grinning like the cat that got the cream to worry about gawping.
‘Take it you approve of the get-up?’ I say, turning to the bar and motioning to Bates for two shot glasses and the vodka I favour.
Ash joins me, his elbows leaning on the bar as he cocks his grin to one side. ‘Hell, yeah, don’t tell me you don’t?’
I shake my head. ‘Fucking hate Christmas.’
‘Yeah, yeah, I know, but when Christmas comes a-knocking like that...’ his laugh is a deep rumble ‘... I’m behind it all the way.’
‘You don’t mind that your wife is out and about like that?’
He shrugs. ‘Hell, no; it’s me she comes home with.’
I shake my head and give a nod of gratitude to Bates as he slaps down the bottle and two glasses.
‘You’re only pissed off because Caitlin’s free to do what she likes.’
I pour the drink, all the while giving him the evil eye. ‘That isn’t funny.’
‘I didn’t say it was.’ He takes up one of the glasses and raises it to me. ‘It’s the truth though; you have it bad, and the sooner you realise it and do something about it the better.’
A laugh erupts. I fucking did that and look what happened.
His eyes narrow. ‘Got something to tell me?’
I ignore the question and clink my glass against his. ‘Cheers.’
We knock them back, his eyes not once leaving mine and I go to pour another, anything to avoid his probing stare.
‘Not for me.’ He covers his glass with his hand. ‘Driving.’
‘Fair enough.’ I still pour myself one and knock it back. It doesn’t help. Nothing helps and drinking isn’t the answer. If anything, it’s only going to make it worse. But seeing Eliza, having her in the same room as Cait...
The woman I wish I could forget, and the woman I wish I could be a better man for...
‘So, what did she want?’ Ash gestures to the exit and I know he means Eliza, his thoughts shifting into the same territory as mine and I grimace.
‘She wanted to catch up.’
‘Catch up?’
‘Yeah. I saw her last week in Berlin. She and Damien were there, checking out the same hotel.’
‘The one you’re looking at buying?’
‘The very same.’