I feel Coco’s eyes on me, and sense her budding concern. ‘I’m sure she’s just an old friend, or a client seeking the invitation of someone else to the club; there could be many reasons he’s taking her through there.’
Her voice is soft with reason and understanding. She knows I’m thinking the worst, but I can’t get that predatory smile out of my head. I know in my gut there’s something between them—if not now, then before—and I can’t bring myself to say it aloud.
‘I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about,’ she adds. ‘And it’s not like he’s taken her up to his apartment.’
I give a forced laugh, trying not to dwell on the possibility.
‘Jackson’s a free man.’ I take a sip of my drink and look back to her. ‘He can do what he likes, or whomever he likes. A point I just made very clear to him.’
‘You did? You weren’t in there long... What happened?’
Now I smile, the memory of how hard he was lighting me up inside. You can’t fake that. He wanted me.
‘Spill, Mrs!’
‘He was jealous and he didn’t deny it. So I pinned him to his office door and made it very clear that, thanks to his behaviour, I’m very much off the menu.’ I even manage a laugh. ‘You should have seen him... It definitely gave me the kick I needed.’
‘Good for you. But now what?’
‘Now, nothing. The idea was to let him stew a little, wind him up, and then I’d have it all out with him later. Now Blondie’s turned up, I can’t see that happening.’
‘You don’t know that.’
I throw back my drink and try to stop second-guessing what’s happening on the other side of that door. ‘It’s fine, Coco, we’re here to have fun and I intend to have that in spades. Drink up!’
‘You don’t need to put on a front for me, Cait.’
‘I’m not.’ But my lie lands flat and I grimace. ‘Okay, I am. But Jackson and I agreed a temporary fling, no future; who he sleeps with now shouldn’t be any of my business. I still get to be mad as hell at him for hurting me. For bailing without a word after...well, after you know...’ Coco knows; she has all the sordid details, thanks to my alcohol-fuelled mouth. ‘I thought we were friends, and friends don’t just bail on one another without at least saying something...anything.’
My mind wanders back to him and Blondie and my throat chokes up, even more so when Coco gives me a sympathetic look that ha
s tears spiking from nowhere. Hell, I’m not going to cry. I’ve managed to fight the tears off this long...
I take another swig of festive sweetness, but it turns bitter on my tongue and I struggle to swallow.
‘I can’t pretend to understand why Jackson did what he did, love; it’s—’
‘It wasn’t what he did that was the problem,’ I interject. ‘It was what he didn’t do: say goodbye, pull me aside the next day and say something, anything, to acknowledge what happened and make me feel... I don’t know, less dejected, rejected, ignored, meaningless...’
I wave a hand around and accidentally catch Bates’ attention but, now I have it, another drink isn’t a bad idea. And the way Coco is looking at me, she’ll benefit from one too.
‘What can I get you ladies?’ he says, heading our way.
‘Surprise us with some more festive fancies. We’re enjoying your creations.’
‘Coming right up.’
I sigh again. ‘Why can’t we choose who we want to want?’ I grumble into the dregs of my drink.
‘Because it would be too easy.’ Coco gives me a gentle shoulder nudge. ‘The best things in life are worth fighting for, Cait, love included.’
‘Love,’ I choke out.
‘Yes.’
‘I’m not in love with Jackson.’ I wince as I say it far louder than I should have and flick a look in Bates’ direction, hoping he hasn’t heard. If he has, he shows no sign of it.
Coco stares at me quietly. Stares at me until my brain tells me I’m wrong and I groan. Heartbreak. Love. Jackson.