“I did finally tell her, though,” he admitted.
“Tell her what? That you love her?” Mindy looked incredulous.
He nodded, pushed the plate away. “Right after we fought. When she accused me of spending all summer with her out of guilt. Just before I walked out the door, I told her I loved her.”
“Then why are you leaving? Why aren’t you fighting for her?”
He’d pondered that very thing the last two sleepless nights he’d suffered through and still didn’t have a good enough answer. “She doesn’t want to hear what I have to say.”
“Have you tried talking to her?”
“You didn’t see her, Mind. She was so cold, so void of emotion. It was like talking to a brick wall.”
“Sounds familiar,” Mindy muttered.
“What? Are you referring to me?”
“Um, yeah.” She shook her head. “You’re not known for showing much emotion. It can drive a person crazy sometimes.”
So he’d received a dose of his own medicine. Great. “There’s no point in staying here. I don’t deserve her anyway.”
Mindy slapped her hand on the edge of the table, startling him out of his own misery. “I am so sick of hearing you say that. Why are you constantly putting yourself down? Why do you hate this town and your family so much that you can barely stand the thought of being here?”
“I don’t hate you.” He stared at her, surprised by his sister’s outburst. She looked furious. “It’s not about you guys. It’s me.”
“What about you? Why are you always running? Why can’t you let down your guard and relax for once in your life? What the hell happened to you? We were raised in the same house but you sure love to act like you’re the long-suffering brother while the rest of us had idyllic childhoods.”
“That’s not true—” he started but she cut him off with a glare.
“It is so true. Always woe is me, poor me. It’s bullshit, Cam.” She forked up a piece of sweet and sour chicken and pointed it at him. “You need to grow up.”
“Grow up?”
“Yes, grow up. You act like a spoiled, miserable teenager who can’t get his way. It’s pure crap. That you finally find a woman who not only tolerates your issues but got you to get over them—and she’s a pretty amazing woman, I must say, sweet as pie and she has to be feisty as hell to put up with you—and you’re walking away from her.”
“I thought you weren’t going to judge,” he said, his voice hoarse.
“I’m not judging. I’m calling it as I see it.” She set the fork on her plate. “Life isn’t perfect. I know you always seemed to think it should be, but guess what? It’s messy and ugly and mean. You just have to make the best of it and find the good where you can.”
“I never thought life had to be perfect.”
She rolled her eyes. “Give me a break. Becoming a photographer is all about trying to control how you see life unfold around you. Or your interpretation of life.”
“I’m not trying to control anything.” He sounded defensive even to his own ears.
“Please. You’ve always tried to control everything. That’s why you close yourself off. If you don’t let anyone in, then we can’t screw you up, right? On the other side, you can’t screw up if you’re alone so in your mind, it’s the perfect solution. You can go on living and be what you think is the best you can be, bu
t really you’re just a shell of a person.”
He rubbed at his chest, her harsh words stinging. “Thanks a lot.”
“You can be such a bone head.” Reaching across the table, she grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’m trying to tell you that being with Chloe brought you back. Brought out the real you again. There’s nothing wrong with being vulnerable and letting someone see who you are, scars and all.”
Mindy was right. He knew it, had essentially thought the same thing. Being with Chloe, he felt like his true self.
Being with Chloe was real.
“You should tell her you’re leaving,” Mindy said softly, breaking through his thoughts.