There were no changes in Tamia’s condition by the time her father came rushing into the hospital. His eyes were bloodshot and his clothing was in complete disarray. He was a big man, over seven feet tall with a solid frame, but he fell to the floor beside her bed and prayed so loud I was sure everyone on the floor could hear him. He kept saying, “I’m not a praying man, but I can’t lose her, God. I can’t lose her. I can’t lose her.”
I stood in the door frame behind him, begging Tamia to move, twitch her fingers, give us anything to know that she was in there somewhere like the doctors said she was. If not for me, for her father.
The hospital chaplain came into the room with two other doctors and they were able to get Judge Dinkins together. He prayed again over Tamia with the chaplain and then, at the chaplain’s instruction, he came out of the room for air. I felt so small sitting next to him in the silent hallway. His tall body was bent and crooked in a way that made my pain, my problems, seem so insignificant. There were no words to describe what he was feeling, how he was feeling. He just kept smiling at me, saying how great it was to see me again and that he was happy I was with Tamia. I smiled and got him coffee and assured him, although I wasn’t sure myself, that everything would be all right.
Step Five: The Damsel in Distress
By the time I saw a familiar shadow turn into Kyle’s body walking toward me, I was exhausted, hungry, and confused. Tamia was still not waking up and there had been no changes. I’d tried to get Tasha and my parents on the phone but there was still no answer. I was able to get her father to calm down and after sharing just about every story about Tamia he could remember, nothing but silence sat between us.
I couldn’t help but stand and smile when Kyle came rushing toward me. He was smiling enough to remind me that the sun was still shining outside the hospital.
“I came straight here,” he said, dropping his suitcase and pulling me into his arms.
“Thank you,” I said. I turned to Judge Dinkins. “This is my friend Kyle.” I pointed to Kyle. “Kyle, this is Tamia’s father, Judge Dinkins.”
They shook hands and Kyle sat down to talk to him, offering comfort. I watched as Judge Dinkins smiled and breathed a bit easier in Kyle’s presence. He walked into the room with Kyle and said a delicate prayer over Tamia’s body. I couldn’t have been more proud, more touched by how personally Kyle was taking things. He wasn’t there for me. He was there for my friend, for her father, doing what he loved.
“You two need to get out of here,” Judge Dinkins said as we walked out of the room to talk. “Troy, you’ve done more than I could have asked you. You’ve been here all day and you should go get something to eat. Get some rest. I’m here now.”
“But I want to help,” I replied.
“There’s nothing we can do right now but wait,” Kyle said. “The doctors are doing all they can. We just have to wait and be here…and healthy when Tamia wakes up.” He pinched my cheek.
“Exactly,” Judge Dinkins said. “I’ll call you if there’s a change. You’ll be the first person I call. I promise.”
I peeked into the room at Tamia and then looked back at Kyle and her father. They were right. My mind needed to be revived. I didn’t want to leave but if I was going to help my friend recover, I needed to recover too.
“Okay,” I said, hugging Judge Dinkins. “I’ll be right at the hotel. Please call me if anything happens, if she moves her toe…anything.” After he promised me three more times, I said goodbye to Tamia and left the hospital with Kyle by my side. I wasn’t sure what would happen, but I knew I had someone by my side.
Kyle and I went to the hotel so I could freshen up and get some of Tamia’s things together to bring to the hospital. I asked if there were any messages from Tasha at the front desk, but there was still nothing. I hoped that she was so mad that she’d hopped on a plane and went home to Lionel. I couldn’t stand the idea of her walking around in the streets alone.
After showering and changing my clothes so we could go get something to eat, I stood in front of the bathroom sink alone, thinking about Kyle. While my mind was certainly with Tamia in the hospital, in some way my heart was happy I was with Kyle.
“Are you beginning to like Kyle?” I asked my reflection aloud. Could I like Kyle? He was a good guy. A great guy. He was handsome, smart, and funny. Plus, he had principles—more principles than anyone I’d ever known. He was what Grandma Lucy called a pearl deep in an ocean waiting to be discovered.
Just then I felt that funny feeling deep in my stomach…the same feeling I felt in grade school when my all-time biggest crush, Eric Roberson, kissed me underneath the slide on the playground. It was warm and tickly, almost like butterflies were being released in my stomach, but I wasn’t nervous about a thing. I was happy.
Yeah, I could like Kyle, I thought, putting on my lip gloss. Even with the church thing, I could like Kyle. Even with the no-sex thing, I could like Kyle. I stashed the gloss back in my purse and looked at myself again.
What the hell are you thinking about, Troy? I couldn’t like Kyle—I was still in love with Julian. “No, no,” I said, pointing at myself. There was no way I was going to allow Kyle to get mixed up in the thing with me and Julian. I didn’t want to hurt Kyle. That was the last thing I wanted to do.
“You ready in there?” Kyle called from the living room. “I’m getting hungry.”
“Yes,” I said, walking out of the bathroom. “I just want to call Tamia’s father again to see if anything has happened. Then we can go.”
“Great,” Kyle said. He stood up when I walked into the room and kissed me on the cheek. “How are you, Troy? I know this is a lot for you.”
“I’m fine. I just can’t believe all this.” I folded my arms across my chest. “I never imagined any of this would happen…in L.A. of all places. Tamia’s in the hospital, Tasha’s gone…I’m just glad you came.”
“Your eyes are puffy,” Kyle said, gently touching my cheeks with his hand.
“You know, for one moment sitting in that bathroom with Tamia, I thought
she was dead. I really thought she had died. I felt so empty inside. I couldn’t do anything about it but just pray.”
“It’s moments like this that show us just how connected to our faith we are,” Kyle said.
“I guess you’re right. I just felt so alone, like I’d never make it through.”