Silence met his words, and it broke his heart to know that she hesitated even though she said she loved him. It wasn’t just for Boss’s sake, it was for his own. He’d be nothing without her, and just like ten years ago, he was terrified the truth would push her away. He wanted to charm her, to show her they were perfect for each other, not scare her away because there was a hit on her and Killian Junior.
“I won’t go anywhere. I’ll stay with you, Killian. I promise.”
****
Several hours later
The whiskey didn’t do anything to numb the pain, not even for a few moments. Killian was a trained killer, a hitman, an assassin. He was trained to take out the enemy, and to make sure there was no trace. All this time she’d been falling in love with a college graduate, he’d been anything but. He’d dropped out of school and fought his way to the top. Impressed by some crazy man known as Boss, he’d become something that she didn’t even want to think about. Ten years ago, she couldn’t have handled this.
It was a struggle even now.
There was a hit out on her and her son. She couldn’t protect Killian Junior from that; only his father could. She didn’t like that feeling of helplessness. She was supposed to be the one to protect her son, and yet she couldn’t. Killian had told her this was a professional hit.
“I know you’re not happy with finding everything out.”
She held her hand up, and closed her eyes. “It’s fine, Killian. I just need a few moments to process everything. Do you spring this on every woman?”
“There hasn’t been anyone else,” he said.
June had been staring out of the window whereas now she spun around, and faced him. “What?”
“There’s no one else. There never has been. I tried a few months after I left you. I wanted to forget what we had, but kissing another woman made it feel like I was betraying you. There are a lot of things I could do, but betraying you wasn’t one of them. You’ve always been it for me.”
“You’re telling me that you’ve never slept with anyone else, never had sex again?”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. No one mattered to me, and to be honest, they still don’t. You’re the only person I want, June.” He took her hands, and his thumbs caressed over them, stroking. “What about you?”
“I’ve been on dates, Killian. I had a son, so I didn’t want to know anyone else.”
“Killian Junior mentioned something about a cop?”
“Oh, him. He thought he could use Killian’s bad behavior as a bargaining chip for dating. It never happened. I guess I had unfinished business with a guy who just left.”
He released one of her hands, and cupped her cheek. She gasped at his touch, and closed her eyes. This man was a cold, hardened killer. Someone who couldn’t be trusted, but he’d saved her. He loved her, and she knew he wasn’t lying.
Looking back, whenever he was telling her lies, Killian couldn’t look her in the eye. She had always found it strange, but that was his tell. He couldn’t look at her and lie. She didn’t know if that was the case for everyone, or just her.
His chin rested on her head, and she wrapped both of her arms around him. She wanted to fall back into his arms, make love, and pretend the last ten years hadn’t happened, but she couldn’t do it, not yet.
“You’re going to need to meet your son,” she said.
“I will. He’s safe with Bain. He’s expecting a kid soon himself. I just wanted some time alone with you. Believe me, our son will love it there. Scarlett is the mothering sort, and she won’t replace you, but he’ll have cookies, cakes, and proper homemade food. Everything will be fine. Let me have a couple of days with you. Please.” He pressed a kiss to her head. “First I think it’s time we get to bed.”
“Killian, I don—”
“You’re not ready, and I know that. I’m not going to force you, baby. I can wait. I’ve waited ten years. I can wait some more.” He stood, holding her hand to take her toward the bedroom. When she didn’t move, he turned toward her. “What’s wrong?”
“How did you take care of … your needs if you didn’t have a woman?”
He held his hands up. “It’s the only thing I could do. I guess this hand is the betrayer,” he said.
She couldn’t help it when she burst out laughing. “I’m pleased your sense of humor hasn’t changed.”
“Life is too damn short to spend it not laughing.” He pressed a kiss to her lips. “And too short not to do that. One day soon, you’re going to be all mine again, June. I’m never going to let you go, not even for a second.”
She believed him. He gave her time to take a shower alone, which she was thankful for. She was careful not to get her arm wet. The last thing she wanted to do was to be in any kind of pain. The shot had been lucky, and if she had of flinched or moved, there was a chance it could have gone right through her heart.
Entering the bedroom after her shower, she was surprised so see Killian already in a towel, his hair wet from a shower.