“A john?”
“I told you my mother was a whore. She sold her body every single night to a string of men. Some were good, most were bad. She gave her body to them, and then a pimp would come and take nearly everything she earned.” Even repeating the words now made him sick to his stomach. “I was just a kid, and in her own way, she loved me. All of her friends did. They took care of me, made sure I was loved. I didn’t always have food, but I knew that even in their world where children really weren’t welcome, they did their best.” It was one of the reasons he couldn’t stomach hurting women, not then, not now.
It was one of the things that made him weaker than Boss, the owner of Killer of Kings.
“Did you try to find out about your dad?”
“Didn’t care who it was, June. No one was worth it. Anyone who could leave my mom like that, in that life, didn’t even matter to me.”
She stared down at her glass. “Where is your mother?”
“Dead. She died from a final beating from her pimp.”
Her gaze once again returned to his. He saw the question in her eyes.
“You want to ask that question, you’re going to need a refill,” he said. She hesitated for a split second before holding out her glass.
“I guess I need a refill. What happened after your mother died?”
He poured an even more generous amount of whiskey into her glass. “He had been beating my mom up for years. Using her to amuse himself. Humiliating her to show off to his friends. I was done with him a long time ago, but my mother begged me not to cause too much trouble. Like our son, I was a troublemaker.”
She smiled. “I knew he got it from somewhere, and it wasn’t me. I really shouldn’t be smiling, but I can’t help it. Knowing he has attitude and he doesn’t take any crap from anyone makes me happy. I don’t get to spend all that much time with him anymore, and I want to. I want to so much.”
“I know that’s what he wants as well.”
“He does?” she asked.
“Killian told me. It’s why I found him on the beach. He was there, remembering times gone by.”
She shook her head. “I’m a terrible mother.”
“No, you’re not.” If there was one thing he’d learned in the few hours of finding her, she was anything but a terrible mother.
“I don’t spend any time with him. I can’t afford to buy everything he deserves. I’m working so hard. I miss him all the time.”
“That’s why you’re not a terrible mother. You work all the time to put a roof over your heads, food in your stomachs, and you pay the bills, right? That’s not a terrible mother. That’s someone who cares, who loves. You’re not a terrible person, June. Don’t even for a second think that. If anyone’s a bad parent, it’s your parents for kicking you out. Can’t believe that shit. They should be fucking ashamed of themselves.”
She glanced back into her glass, and then looked at him. Tears were glistening in her eyes. “I can’t believe you’re here.”
“I’m not going anywhere, June. I’m here to stay. I want to get to know you again, to know Killian, our son. Wow, I can’t believe I have a son. He has a thing for spy movies?”
“Yeah, he loves them, and their accents. He’s always trying to copy accents. It’s cute.” She took another sip from the glass.
“I never stopped loving you. I mean that.”
“I know you do, Killian. I never stopped loving you either. I just, I can’t right now. I don’t even know if it makes any sense. I want to, but it has been a matter of hours since you’ve been in my life. You’ve hurt people, I’ve been hurt, and I just need more time.”
“I’m not in any rush. I want to prove to you that I’m not here just for that, okay? I want everything.”
“You’re a hitman. You’re going to tell me the truth, I need to know everything. Every little detail.”
“Once I tell you, you’ve got to make a commitment to stay with me.”
“Why?” she asked.
“Because ever
ything I do is controlled by a man who takes privacy very seriously, and he’s not above killing a woman and child to keep those secrets. I need you to tell me that you’ll be mine regardless.”