But now here we were-- the three of us. And while Libby and I were just in the beginning stages of our relationship, it still felt right. I didn’t have that dread, that pit in the bottom of my stomach that never seemed to end, but only grow sharper if I fed those negative thoughts. Right now, happiness was the only thing that was constantly flowing through my heart. And I’d missed it so much.
When we arrived back at the hotel we had a few hours to kill before we were taking in the Criss Angel Magic Show at the Luxor hotel. The Luxor was one of my favorite hotels. It was just like stepping into some kind of a warp where only fantasy existed and everyone had total permission to be free and just let their childhood come back to relive it. I’d always had a thing for magic ever since I was a kid and a magician had come to our school for some kind of a special assembly. I’d tried to share that love with Toby and it was fun to see his own excitement by it all.
“Glass of wine?” Libby asked me.
I was sitting on the couch with my laptop just catching up on some emails (it never ended), even though Libby was giving me a bit of a sarcastic smirk. She and I had on ongoing bet that I wouldn’t be able to get through the entire day without doing any kind of work. Apparently, she was right.
“Sure,” I said.
Libby handed me the glass of wine and I took a quick sip before sitting it on the table beside me. I had the feeling that something was on her mind, and for once I hoped it had nothing to do with the Scarluccis. I wished I could find out some more information from Ranier and the rest of the family, but so far they were being pretty low and quiet.
“I don’t know if now is a good time to have this conversation or not, but I just want to put it out there and see if we are on the same page.”
I turned off the laptop and gave Libby my full attention. This sounded like a bit more than a casual conversation and I was very curious to see what was going on in that beautiful head of hers. Her eyes were serious, her voice curious and inquisitive as she broached the subject.
“What is on your mind?” I asked.
“Well, the other night and the past few days. I…God… I know this is wrong to even bring up right now. I can’t believe I’m actually about to go here…”
Libby laughed nervously.
I reached over and grabbed her soft, warm hand in mine and brought it to my lips. I kissed her gingerly and leaned in just a little bit.
“It’s ok,” I said. “Just say what you need to say.”
“Ok,” Libby said. She let out a long sigh and then cleared her throat. Her behavior was making me just a bit nervous, but I did my best to stay calm and make sure she couldn’t tell. I figured that would only add to her nervousness.
“Well, I really care about you,” Libby said.
“I care about you, as well.”
So far this wasn’t really news, I didn’t think, but I could tell she had so much more to say.
“No, what I mean is, that I think this is something really special. I know that emotions can run high and things can happen, especially when two people go through some frightening or stressful things, but I don’t think that is what has happened here, at least not for me. This is more than that.”
“Ok, I think I know what you are getting at…”
Although, I really wasn’t sure I had a clue. I wanted her to know I was listening and that I was hanging with where she was going.
“When I first met you I know I came off a bit standoffish. I’m a bit embarrassed to say that I kind of believed a lot of the media hype about you and I allowed myself to come to some bad conclusions about you. I shouldn’t have done that. In doing so, I basically shut myself off from what could have been great much earlier.”
Libby had tears in her eyes now. I could tell how hard this was for her. I grabbed a tissue off the table and wiped her eyes softly. It was nothing to cry over. I wanted to comfort her and tell her that everything was going to be just fine, but I didn’t want to interrupt her line of thought.
“I just want you to know that after this is all over, if we make it through that is, that I care about you and I care about Toby. I finally think I’ve got something in my life that I’ve been missing for so long.”