I was scared but I wasn’t giving in to it. And I believed it was because of how much I had to live for. And it wasn’t the stupid money or the fame. I had two people in my life I loved more than myself. I was not going to let my son grow up fatherless. I would be there for him.
And I had to make it back to tell Libby how much I really cared about her.
I was going to tell her before the night was over, exactly how much I loved her.
That was a promise.
CHAPTER 20
Libby
Where was he?
I looked at the clock again. Mason had been gone for three hours. The rendezvous point was only forty minutes away. What had happened? He wasn’t contacting me. I’d picked up my phone several times ready to text him, but I was afraid that somehow it would go off at the wrong moment and make a sound or a flash of light on the screen, or that it would contact the wrong person and they would somehow get a bead on where I was.
I’d put Toby to bed a few moments ago. After his long nap he’d wanted to stay up and play, but I was able to quiet him down with a few quiet games of cards and a slow movie.
He wondered where his father was. I told him that he had to go see someone about work. It twisted my guts to lie to him, but the alternative was much more frightening. I kept seeing it over and over in my mind, an image of a cop arriving at the door to inform us that Mason was dead and his son was now an orphan. All because of some mess I’d gotten him involved in.
And now my best friend, Marla was probably dead, too. The guilt was consuming me from the inside out. It was eating me alive. I had to go and turn myself into them. No more would I let people I cared about sacrifice themselves for my mistakes. It wasn’t right. It was my fault. I had to make amends for it.
I poured myself another glass of wine and sipped it slowly, waiting for some sign from Mason. What was taking him so long? I had faith in him. I knew that he was good, and that he could handle himself, but this was the type of opponent that nightmares were made of. All of these guys were brutal killers. It was what they were raised in and all they knew. They didn’t know another way to live.
“I should have gone with him,” I said. “I should have gone.”
But Mason was right. Someone had to be there with Toby. Someone had to be there when the cops came to tell him that his dad… his dad…
I broke down then. I hated crying. I always had. It was like throwing all of my emotions on the ground in front of me and just showing the world how much it had beaten me. And lately I’d been crying more than I ever had before in my life.
I hated crying in front of people, and Mason had seen it. It made me feel a bit pathetic, but he’d seen it several times and it hadn’t affected him. He was reassuring about it. It was one of the things I loved most about him.
Love…
Yes. I knew it. Sitting there with a glass of wine crying because I might never get to see the man of my dreams again, I could say with an honest face that I loved Mason Savage.
It was so easy to admit it to myself now. Why was it so hard before? It had taken me so long. And why? I didn’t get it. I was stupid. I was lost. I’d run so far away from life that now that I had a shot to get it back again, I was freezing in the face of it and acting like I wanted to throw it away.
I was about to grab my phone and make that phone call when Mason walked through the door.
At first I couldn’t trust my eyes. I rubbed them several times with the palms of my hands just to make sure that it was really him. Without any conscience input from my brain my legs were running towards him.
I threw my arms around Mason’s neck and held him closely to me. He stiffened up slightly, but then relaxed into my embrace and then wrapped his arms around my waist to pull me closer to him.
“What happened? I was so scared that I wasn’t hearing anything from you.”
“It was an awful fight. The Scarluccis were there. Marla is ok. We freed her and she is home safe and sound. Of course she is very shaken, but I think she will be fine.”