Billie was afraid to have faith in what he was telling her. It was true that he and Calisto had appeared to have nothing in common. She had wondered what he could see in a fashion model who shared none of his interests. But she had also known that love was reputedly blind and had feared that beauty and sex appeal had won out over common sense. Now when he told her otherwise she wanted so much to believe that message but she was afraid to.
‘I thought you were so happy with her,’ Billie framed.
‘The first fine flush lasted…oh, all of five minutes,’ Alexei confided, his handsome mouth forming a sardonic twist in acknowledgement. ‘I refused to listen to my doubts because, as I told you, I was ready for something more, something deeper, and when Calisto reappeared it felt like fate.’
Billie winced. ‘Fate can be cruel.’
Alexei frowned and nodded agreement. ‘If only you had told me about us, at least I would have stopped and listened.’
‘If you were infatuated with her, I don’t know that you would have.’
‘You didn’t give me the chance,’ he reminded her. ‘In fact you assumed the worst of me at every stage and expected nothing. That was the real problem. That was what kept us apart.’
Billie reckoned that she had spent too long on the sidelines of Alexei’s life watching him live up to his bad reputation to credit that he might behave differently with her. And yet, even as she recognised that fact, she also recognised that Alexei had always treated her with a lot more respect and kindness than he’d employed with the other women in his life. She had never been just an employee, forced to respect strict boundaries, and in the same way he had always looked out for her interests.
‘Why did you really break up with Calisto?’ Billie finally asked.
‘She wasn’t right for me. I don’t want to do her down,’ Alexei confessed ruefully, his strong jaw line hardening, ‘but I saw her as she really was the day I found her screaming abuse at a toddler on Sea Queen.’
‘On St George’s Day, when you were entertaining the islanders on the yacht?’ Billie questioned, referring to the saint’s day when everyone who lived on Speros celebrated the holiday. ‘What toddler?’
‘The little boy you took to find his mother. Before that, he had bumped into Calisto and put chocolate hand-prints on her skirt. I found her shouting at him and the poor little chap was sobbing his heart out. I couldn’t stay with a woman who could treat a young child like that, and when she turned her attention on you that same afternoon that was the last straw,’ he admitted grimly. ‘She has a vicious streak I can’t accept.’
Well aware of how that vicious streak had offended and wounded other employees, Billie said nothing. Naturally she had known that Calisto had had character traits wholly at odds with Alexei’s engrained sense of fairness and courtesy, but that Alexei could have found Calisto’s verbal attack on her that same day intolerable touched her heart. Calisto had accused her of flirting with Alexei. Now all of a sudden Billie was appreciating that Alexei had cared even then about her, even if she hadn’t realised it.
‘I didn’t love her,’ Alexei breathed, reaching down to close his hands round Billie’s and draw her upright. ‘I never loved her. Why would I risk my marriage to sleep with her again?’
Her hands quivered in the warm hold of his and she lifted fearless eyes to him. ‘You didn’t care about our marriage when you walked out on me. You didn’t believe that Nicky was your son either…’
His ebony brows drew together. ‘Be fair. You took me by surprise and I was devastated by the fallout on our wedding night. You are the one woman in the world whom I’ve always totally trusted,’ he reasoned urgently, and pink discomfiture coloured her upturned face with regret. ‘And it did all sound crazy at the time.’
‘You didn’t love me when you married me…’
Long brown fingers framed her cheeks to hold her troubled eyes steady. ‘I didn’t know I loved you when I married you. I thought I was being so sensible choosing you when, all the time, you were the only choice. Because, right then, you were the only woman I wanted,’ he told her ruefully. ‘Then it all blew up in my face. I didn’t know how I felt. I didn’t even realise why it all hurt so much. I just felt betrayed.’
Her fingers stroked over his and gripped tight in apology. ‘I know. I know how impossible I made it for you but there was no easy way to go about telling you.’
His lean hands held hers tight. ‘Telling me the truth upfront,’ he countered. ‘Trusting me the same way I trust you—’
Sentenced to stillness by the tender look in his dark golden eyes, Billie breathed in deep. ‘So, you’re not chasing Calisto again?’
‘No, and she’s already called me to let me know that she has issued a public rebuttal to that effect,’ Alexei incised and then, with an unexpected touch of amusement, ‘Along with the news that she’s got engaged again and she doesn’t want rumours of an adulterous association with me to spoil that.’
‘Engaged again? But to whom?’ Billie prompted in astonishment.
‘A very wealthy Parisian banker. He’s a lot older than she is, but she says older men are more reliable and, since he already has adult children, he’s not expecting her to have a child with him,’ Alexei completed.
‘But when I saw Calisto in Paris, she made it quite clear that she wanted you back.’
‘But I didn’t want her and the banker was obviously her back-up plan. I’m relieved she’s found someone,’ Alexei said wryly. ‘I can hand over her affairs to an accountant with a clear conscience.’
And seeing his relief, Billie finally believed that only his sense of responsibility had urged him to go to Calisto’s assistance after their relationship had ended. It was as if a weight fell off her shoulders and a dark shadow was jerked from her thoughts. With a sigh she leant forward and rested her head down on his shoulder. ‘I’m relieved as well.’
‘But you didn’t need to be. I love you,’ Alexei pointed out doggedly. ‘The minute you started talking about divorcing me, I wised up fast. That was a really sensible move of yours—it brought me to my senses.’
‘It wasn’t a move!’ Billie exclaimed in stark disconcertion at the charge. ‘It seemed the only solution if you couldn’t forgive me for keeping you in the dark about Nicky.’
Alexei bent his arrogant dark head and claimed her mouth with hot, hard brevity that left her breathless, her slim body curving into his and alight with the desire for more. ‘The moment you threatened me with a divorce I got off my high horse. It brought me to my senses and I stopped