What must I do to keep it?
A knife twists in my chest. “Promise. Promise you will come back to me.”
She lays a kiss on my chin. “I promise, Carver.”
“If you don’t—”
Her finger across my lips stops me from telling her I will come after her, imprison her again if she fails to return. “When we were making love, I trusted you not to use your size against me. To take away my will. And you didn’t. You were so amazing.” Pride fills me, my heart turning over at her gentle praise. “Now you need to trust me, too. It’s not just me wanting freedom. Unless I go back to camp, they’re going to come looking. I can’t let them find you and hurt you because of me.” Her lips twitch. “Or try to hurt you, anyway. You could probably take on an army.”
My voice betrays my misery when I speak. “How long will you remain away from me?”
“Tomorrow is Friday. We’re going hiking around the lake.” She strokes my face. “Saturday is visitor’s day. Parents and friends come to visit the campers. Counselors get to visit with their boyfriends and girlfriends. Everyone has someone coming.”
My spine snaps straight, a throb beginning in the center of my forehead. “Who is your visitor?”
“No one.” Sadness crosses her expression. “I won’t have one. But the girls will be mopey when their visitors leave again and I need to be there to comfort them. I’ll come back to you Saturday night.”
Denial stabs me. “No. Too long.”
She sighs. “I like having a job, Carver. Making my own money.” Her gaze begs me to understand. “Normal things. I never thought I’d have a normal life.”
“Is that what you want? A normal life?”
For a few beats, she remains quiet. “I can make an exception for my big, wonderful giant in the woods. As long as I’m free to come and go as I please.”
Agreeing with a nod is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. But as we walk back to the cabin hand in hand to collect her clothes, I replay her words over and over in my head. Normal things. A normal life. I can make an exception.
Do I want Lainey to regard me as an exception, though?
If not, what can I do to change it? Chapter Six
Lainey
I can feel him watching me from the woods.
All day.
From the moment I leave my cabin, his gaze brands my skin. While I’m in the mess hall having breakfast at one of the indoor picnic tables, his frustration over not being able to see me is palpable. He would like to rip the walls down with his bare hands, I’m sure—and I have no doubt he could accomplish it—but I force myself not to rush. Not to eat faster than I normally would if I hadn’t been claimed by Carver last night, body and soul.
Do I already want to return to his cabin and bask in the warmth of his green eyes? Yes. So badly. But I refuse to let those bad habits form. If we’re going to have a real relationship, he needs to understand I’m the fucking Beyoncé of my own life. I want him to be my Jay-Z, but only if he allows me my freedom.
Even if right now I feel like a prisoner anyway. And I kind of love it.
Staring out over the lake into the forest, I wonder where he lurks. How he manages to stay hidden at all when he’s so huge. There’s an incessant throb between my legs reminding me exactly how huge he is everywhere. I’m not sure where I found the bravery to take him inside me last night, but once the pain retreated, I felt almost…wild. My body demanded to be satisfied and at the same time, my mind ordered me to please Carver. The combination of those two needs was a powerful punch. One that made me feel alive, sexual. Like a woman.
And the game we played…
I didn’t get my first cell phone until I ran away at sixteen. Between then and now, I worked several odd jobs while trying to lay low—and one of my co-workers along the way recommended Tumblr. It didn’t take long for me to experiment with sex-related search terms. Being free for the first time in my life, I realized everyone my age knew a lot about sex and I was curious. It was one random three-second GIF that inspired me to touch myself for the first time. And I went back to it again. Again. The short clip depicted an older man in a suit taking a much younger girl from behind. The rushed, frenzied nature of it alone excited me, but it was the way the man looked over his shoulder—as if worried about getting caught—that made me rub that spot between my legs and cry out into my pillow.