“Oh really? Just that easy for you, is it?” I walk over to his desk and pick up a box of binder clips. “If it was that easy, you should have driven down and met me this morning. You shouldn’t have left me there waiting for you.”
“So that’s why you’re angry? Because we kissed last night, and you think I stood you up this morning?”
“No!” My nails bite into the cardboard box. I nearly crush the thing in my clenched fist. “That’s not why. It’s because it was insensitive and an inconvenience, but of course, you wouldn’t care about any of those things because you’re rich enough to do whatever you want, mess with whoever you want, and anything and everything.”
I can see how angry that statement makes Hal even though he tries to control it. His jaw ticks fiercely. “Is that what you really think? That I would just use money and power to hurt whoever I wanted?”
“Yes. Because you’re you. And because you’re a blackguard.”
“I’m buying you out because, in your proposal, you made it clear you wanted to pursue something else. I thought that’s what you wanted. If you want to continue with the uh…cakery, then I’d be happy to partner with you to make it the best cakery Bellevue has ever seen.”
“Argh!” I hurl the box of binder clips at Hal. “It’s a bakery!”
I grab the next box within reach. Paperclips. I fling that across the room too. Then, I grab the stapler next and send it hurling. I make sure my aim is off, so it doesn’t hit Hal. I just want to scare him. It bounces harmlessly off the couch.
“Stop that!” Hal commands. “I think we have a bigger issue here other than whether the dang thing is a cakery or a bakery.”
“Don’t use that fickling word, you damn fickler!” I let out a gasp of delight when I open the top drawer and find a box of elastic bands.
“No!” Hal shouts. “You put that back!”
“Oh, sure, I will. After I borrow a couple.” I wind one around my index finger and thumb, just the way Sam taught me. I take aim, sight Hal up just right, and let the band fly. The elastic smacks him in the shoulder.
“Ouch!” he groans as he rubs the spot. “Stop! For the love of god, Stella!”
I load up another. This time, I hit him in the other shoulder. I’m fast, and I get another twisted around my finger before he has time to recover. I let that fly, too, smacking him right in the forehead.
“Owwwww!” Hal howls as he rubs the spot. “You’re just like your damn brother. You know that?! Always were too good with those things.”
“Yup. He taught me well.”
I load up another and hit Hal smack in the chest. “This is for the kiss last night.”
“You kissed me!”
“You put your tongue in my mouth!”
“You put your tongue in my mouth first!”
“You ground your nasty bits against me.”
Hal pales as I load up two elastics and fire them both. They hit him in his right nipple region, and while he dances in pain, I load up again. This time, I smack him closer to below the belt.
“That’s enough!” Hal commands. “You will not fire those at my groin!”
“Oh really?” I hit him in the right thigh, then the left, just to prove I can. His hands come over his family jewel region, and he stands like soccer players sometimes do when they’re blocking a goal kick or whatever it’s called.
“Enough!” Hal says again. “Put the box down.”
“Oh, it’s down.” It is. It’s open on the desk. I let another few shots fly, snapping Hal in the shoulders again, where he’s not covered.
“Stella!”
“You owe me a hundred grand. You forced me to go to dinner with you last night. You rubbed up against me like a dog in heat—”
“I don’t think that was me—”
I send another few shots into Hal’s midsection. “Very unwise of you to say so at the moment.” Holy crap, I’m enjoying myself right now. I know I’m not really hurting Hal. The sting, unless it happens to be on bare skin, will ease up within a few seconds without leaving a mark. I do regret the forehead one, though. That shot went errant. “You did all those things, and yet you had the nerve not to show up or call.”
“I did call!”
“You didn’t show up. You had no problem doing that any other day.”
“I was busy trying to convince the bank to get the cash for me.”
“You could have done that on speakerphone in your car while you got your ass to the bakery. Plus, we have a phone. You could have called it.”
“I did.”
I remember then that I took the phone off the hook and never replaced it. I fire off another few elastics into Hal’s chest, but he just stands there and takes it without so much as a fuss now, which makes the whole thing a lot less fun.