“Good to see you too.” I nodded and smiled.
“If you’re up for one more night of debauchery, I’m having a
bachelor party on the Friday before the wedding.” Dave tilted his head and grinned. “You’re both invited. Lots of guys from high school will be there. The festivities start at seven o’clock over at the Big Horn Saloon, just like high school.”
“Yeah, I might be able to come hang out for a little bit.” I reached out and slapped hands with him before he walked towards the door.
I walked over and tossed the invitation in Hudson’s locker where he would find it. My brother and I hadn’t said a whole lot to each other since I went to see Eliza. I knew they were back together, which was a good outcome, but I understood why he wasn’t eager to tell me about the relationship. They both had every reason in the world to hate me, and I was willing to carry the burden if it meant they found happiness. I destroyed it once and keeping me at arm’s length was probably for the best. I still had feelings for Eliza, but I would never act on them. I blew my opportunity and didn’t deserve a second chance. Hudson did, and I was glad he was finally getting the opportunity to crawl out of the darkness that consumed him. He had been there for me when I was at my worst, so I could let him have the time he needed to forgive me all over again—not that he should.
“Preston?” It was a familiar voice, and it immediately snapped me out of my thoughts.
“Eliza?” I turned towards her and felt my stomach drop. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes.” She nodded quickly. “Is there somewhere private we can talk?”
“Not here, but we can take a walk if you’d like.” I motioned towards the front door. “The park is usually deserted this time of day.”
“Okay.” She turned and started walking towards the door before I had a chance to stand.
I guess she’s here to crush the rest of my spirit. I might as well have the dignity to take my destruction like a man.
“I didn’t think I would see you again.” I caught up to her as she crossed the road that led to the park.
“There are things I need to say.” Her tone was flat—but at least she wasn’t screaming.
“Can I apologize again, before you start?” I sighed and looked over at her. “I know that an apology can never undo what I said—or what it did to you.”
“You’re right.” She nodded and came to a stop once we got to the pond near the center of the park. “So, don’t waste your breath.”
“Okay.” I sighed and dropped my head.
Eliza had a lot to say, and I listened without saying a word. I had heard some of it before, especially the part about her parents and her childhood. She described how it made her feel to live with abandonment her whole life, to feel like she was worthless when all she wanted was to be loved. Every word she was like a knife that was aimed at my heart but kept missing so that the next one could hit me while I still had life left inside my body. I felt lower than dirt, worse than the scum lingering at the edge of the pond in front of us, and I deserved to feel that way. In fact, I was worse than the dirty and the scum. At least they weren’t hurting anyone—they didn’t ruin what could have been incredible. No apology could make it right. No amount of regret was good enough. I felt the pain she felt as every incision rolled off the tip of her tongue. It was my verbal comeuppance, and it hurt more than the punch would have that I begged Hudson to throw. I wanted to crumble to the ground and beg forgiveness instead of apologize. I wanted to grovel. I just knew it wouldn’t do any good.
“I want you to know, even though I know my words don’t mean much, that I have regretted it a lot over the years. I saw what it did to Hudson. I felt the pain myself…” I looked down at the dirt, and I wished I could just crawl under it.
“I believe you, which is a huge step after all of the lies you told me that day. Which is why I’m going to forgive you.” She tensed up as the words crossed her lips.
“Forgive me?” I blinked in surprise. “That’s the last thing I expected you to do.”
“Forgiveness is the only way I can move past it.” She sighed and turned towards the pond. “I don’t want to carry this burden anymore—especially if I don’t stay in Andalusia.”
“You’re—leaving?” I tilted my head to the side. “Why?”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do yet, but I do know that I’ve hurt over this long enough. I’ve hated you long enough for it to leave a mark, but I want to let it fade away. I need it to fade away.” She nodded slowly. “We could have had something special, and I want to remember what almost was rather than the pain that came after it was over.”
“I’d like that too.” I exhaled sharply and nodded. “I wish I had your trust—enough for you to know that what I’m saying is true. Enough for you to believe that I really did care about you, despite the fool I let myself become.”
“I wonder if you’d be saying that now if you hadn’t gotten hurt.” She looked down at my knee. “What if you would have made it to the NFL? Would you have even remembered me? Would you have even cared that you left your brother so broken?”
“I didn’t forget you when I went to college. I thought I knew what I wanted—but you changed me that summer. You put things in perspective that I never understood. I was an asshole and all I cared about getting laid—then you came along and showed me that it could be more.” I sighed and shook my head. “I know those words are hollow.”
“Yeah.” She nodded. “They are.”
“Can I ask you something?” I tilted my head to the side.
“Sure.” She lifted her head slowly. “Ask away.”
“Why did you do it? Why did you sleep with us at the graduation party?” I tilted my head in the opposite direction. “I’ve always been curious.”