“Some of those companies are—far away.” She leaned over to look at my screen. “I thought things were going great with Hudson?”
“They are…” I sighed and nodded. “But I didn’t come back home with any intentions of staying. I submitted my resume to several places and I’m starting to hear back.”
“Does that mean you’re going to leave again?” She tilted her head to the side inquisitively.
“I don’t know.” I leaned back against the couch. “Yes, things are going great with Hudson and I want to believe that I could have a future with him, but I’m scared of getting hurt again.”
“Have you told him this?” She leaned back so that she was looking directly at me.
“No.” I shook my head back and forth.
“Are you?” I saw a bit of panic on her face. “You’re not going to leave without telling him—right?”
“I wouldn’t do that, no.” I exhaled sharply. “I would never do that to him after everything he’s been through.”
“I think it would be better if you tell him now, rather than in a few weeks after I get married. If you’re not sure, be honest with him. Don’t lead him on and break his heart.” Melanie reached over and squeezed my hand. “I know you’ll make the right decision for you—just make sure it’s one you can live with.”
I was struggling. A part of me wanted to hold onto Hudson for dear life, and another part of me wanted to leave. Hudson hadn’t shown me anything but passion and kindness. He hadn’t given me any indication that he was unhappy, but I had been there before. I had dared to be happy and watched it all get ripped away. My parents—foster homes—Preston. It all ended the same, and I was shattered when the inevitable crashed into me. I ended up broken and trying to pick up the pieces. I could finally leave Andalusia on my own terms. I could have a memory that wasn’t painful to look back at. If I stayed, I was going to give in to my weaknesses. I was going to become the person I swore I would never be again—the person who trusted someone enough for them to hurt me.
I wonder if this is how conflicted Preston felt when he made the choice to send me away, or if he even gave it a second thought…
I hadn’t seen Preston since he was at Melanie’s house. Hudson and I had a long conversation about his brother. He had been hurt, but he found a way to offer forgiveness. He found a way to move past that hurt. I knew that regardless of what choice I made, I couldn’t stay in Andalusia without seeing Preston—nor could I leave without seeing him one more time. I wouldn’t be complete either way until I looked him in the eyes and told him that I forgave him for what he did. It was more than he deserved, but it was for me—not him. I wanted to remove the scar that he left on my heart too. He wasn’t worthy of the scar, nor was he worthy of the pain that I carried all those years. He was just a fucking liar. I was going to cleanse myself of Preston once and for all. Then I could figure out what was in front of me once I watched Melanie tie the knot with her betrothed.
I stared my demon in the face once. I’m brave enough to do it again. He no longer has any control over me at all.
13
Preston
“Dave! Holy shit! When did you get back in town?” My eyes lit up when I saw one of the guys’ I went to high school with walk into the fire station.
“Hey man.” Dave grinned and walked over to shake my hand. “I got here last night—but don’t tell my fiancée if you see her. I’m planning a surprise.”
“Your secret is safe with me. Melanie Andrews man? Good for you.” I gave him a friendly nudge with the back of my hand. “I remember how much you liked her.”
“Yeah, everything worked out according to plan.” Dave chuckled under his breath. “We went to Troy University, she got homesick—and there I was.”
“Sounds like true love.” I smiled and nodded.
“We had a few bumps along the way, but she keeps me in line.” He pulled up a chair and sat down. “Is Hudson around? I wanted to say hello to him too.”
“Nah, he’s out on a call. It wasn’t enough to send more than one guy.” I leaned back in my chair. “He should be back soon though.”
“How’s your knee treating you these days? I saw that hit you took—it was fucking brutal man.” Dave grimaced and motioned to my leg.
“It hurts when it rains or when the weather gets cold. It would probably hurt when it snowed too if we ever got any around here.” I shrugged. “It’s okay for the most part though, as long as I’m not trying to do any spin moves.”
“Cool, well I wanted to give you these myself.” Dave opened his jacket and pulled out two envelopes. “You’re both invited to come celebrate the big day with us.”
“Thanks man.” I took the envelopes from him.
Hudson will probably go, but I doubt the Maid of Honor would be very happy to see me show up.
“So what are you up to these days, man? Are you still crushing hearts and taking names like the old days? I don’t see a ring…” Dave motioned to my left hand.
“Not so much.” I shook my head back and forth. “There’s not many fish in this sea—single ones at least.”
“Yeah, I hear that. Well anyway, I need to go, but tell Hudson I said hello.” He stood and patted me on the shoulder.