“Night.” I waved, then went to my room. My mind raced as I settled down into bed, and it was impossible not to think of Grey.
Could I save him like I’d saved Beatrix?
9
Grey
The dream was both heaven and hell. It pulled at me. Carrow on one side, the afterlife on the other. The flames of the underworld flickered, trying to drag me toward them. It was a place of myth and legend. Though I’d never been to an underworld, my perception of it was as old as I was—a place of torture, where I’d pay for the sins of my past.
In the present, on Earth, there was Carrow.
And yet, I couldn’t have both her and life.
I woke, sweating and gasping.
Fates, I was a disaster.
Embarrassing.
I swung myself out of bed and drew in a bracing breath. Everything felt heavier, as it had since the curse had come back into effect. My mortality dragged at me in wakefulness and in sleep, with every second ticking by and moving me closer to an unacceptable future. I could feel time like it was a physical thing.
I shook away the thought and headed for the shower. I was due to meet Carrow soon. Next to her was the only place I wanted to be. My previous self would consider the thought insane, but I’d accepted it.
She’d changed me. Massively so.
Though part of me struggled with the idea, the rest didn't give a damn. I wanted to be by her side. Now, in the future, forever.
I prayed the book had taught her something that would help us, because the visit to the seer had not been as promising as I’d hoped. I’d put on a good face for Carrow, but the results of that visit had been disappointing. True, we’d learned a great deal of new information, but it had laid the entire task on Carrow’s shoulders, and I hated it. This should be my burden.
Quickly, I showered and dressed, choosing one of my usual suits without thinking. I drank a liter of bagged blood to give myself strength, grimacing at the stale taste. It was nothing like Carrow, but I couldn’t risk it.
Ready, I left the flat and passed Miranda’s desk with a brief farewell. The morning was brisk as I walked toward Carrow’s flat. Supernaturals were out and about, headed for work and play.
Near Carrow’s flat, I passed a coffeehouse. The aroma wafted out onto the street, rich and enticing. I turned in to pick up a coffee for her. There was no time to waste, but there was also no need to be uncivilized.
Having no idea who I would find at Carrow’s flat, I ordered four coffees. The clerk arranged them in a small cardboard carrier, and I headed back out into the morning.
As I neared Carrow’s flat, I caught sight of someone looking at me from across the street. I stared back, trying to place him, but it was just an unfamiliar young man, looking at me with surprise. There wasn’t a hint of threat coming from him, but he was staring at…
Me. He was staring at me, carrying a tray of coffees like a common errand boy. I felt my eyebrows rise and a slight, silent laugh escape my throat.
If some of my enemies could see me now.
Carrow had…domesticated me.
It was vaguely uncomfortable, but not unbearable.
But now was not the time for insufferable navel gazing. I’d done enough of that already. I turned toward her green door and knocked loudly, then looked up at the flats above.
Mac leaned out of her window and stared down at me, her pale hair tousled. Her gaze landed on the coffees. “Is one of those for me?”
“Certainly.”
She nodded. “Be right there.”
A moment later, her footsteps pounded down the stairs. She could give a rhinoceros a run for its money. The door swung open, and she reached out to grab a coffee. “Thanks.”
I nodded. “Of course.”