“No, I thought if I could get him back, he would let me see my—Hazel.” Her eyes drop slightly. “I messed up… bad. But I miss her so much. And I know you adopted her… I’m just asking to see her, spend some time with her.” Her tear-filled eyes meet mine. “I love her so much.”
Just as I’m about to tell her this is between her and Chase, Hazel comes running over. “Mama!” she yells through tears. “Sand. Ouchy.” She rubs her eyes, and I lift her into my arms. I carry her over to the table and grab a washcloth from the diaper bag, pouring some water onto it.
“Ouchy,” she repeats.
“Don’t touch it,” I tell her, padding her eyes gently with the washcloth.
“Ouchy.”
“I know, pretty girl.” I sit her on top of the picnic table and wipe her eyes one more time. She looks up at me and blinks slowly, a small watery smile creeping up on her face.
“Better?”
“Yes. I hungry!” The word comes out like ungry.
“Aunt Lexi will be here soon with Abigail and then we’ll eat lunch.”
“Okay.” Her beautiful smile widens and then her eyes go past me… to Victoria. I wait with bated breath for her to remember her. It’s only been six months since she dropped her off, and she spent the first ten months of her life with her. Her top lip curls up into a shy smile and her hands lift for me to pick her up. I expect Victoria to say something, to tell Hazel who she is, but she doesn’t.
“She’s so beautiful,” she chokes out. “Is she okay?” She’s referring to the herniated belly button that was still healing when we found her.
“She’s perfect.”
Victoria nods. “I know right now isn’t a good time to talk, not in front of her, but could we please talk? Mother to mother?”
Her words are like a knife straight through my heart. She’s Hazel’s biological mother. She gave birth to her. Her blood runs through her veins. I’m only her mother legally. And the baby that was growing in me… I lost.
But she doesn’t know that, so when she says that, she’s referring to the both of us being Hazel’s mother. And in a weird way I respect her for saying that. Do I think she deserves the title of Mom? No. But she could’ve easily disregarded me as Hazel’s mother as well.
“Hazel goes down for a nap at two o’clock. If you want to give me your phone number, I can call you.”
She sighs in relief. “Thank you.”
After giving me her number, she reluctantly leaves just as Lexi is walking up with Aiden and Abigail. “Who was that?” she asks, obviously having seen me talking to her.
“Chase’s ex-wife.”
Her brows shoot up to her forehead. “Hazel’s…”
“Biological mom, yeah.”
“What the hell did she want?”
“To see Hazel.”
Lexi curses under her breath.
“Hey, Aiden, how are you?” I ask, changing the subject.
“Hi, Lexi’s sister,” he says back. “I’m hungry. Lexi brought me tacos.” He holds up his bag.
“Tacos sound good.”
“They are good,” he says back. “Lexi, where do I sit?”
“On the blanket,” she says, setting Abigail down so she can lay the blanket on the grass. I grab the cooler, and we sit on the blanket with the girls, getting their food ready, while Aiden eats his tacos and tells me about the gallery and all the painting he’s doing.
“I have a new friend,” he says. “Her name is Melanie and she paints.”
Lexi grins and whispers, “She’s his special friend.”
“That’s nice,” I tell him, ignoring Lexi. “Does she paint at the gallery?”
“Yes, and she likes tacos.”
“Her mom is the artist we’re featuring this month. Melanie is the same age as Aiden and works with her mom. She’s autistic like Aiden. They hit it off and have been inseparable.”
“That’s so sweet.”
“It is. She asked him to come over and he actually agreed. I’m going to go with him, though, just to make sure he’s comfortable.”
“I’m done,” Aiden announces. “Can Baby Abigail and I go play now?”
Abigail jumps up and grabs Aiden’s hand. “I go play.” She recently turned one and is now walking.
“Me too!” Hazel adds.
“Go ahead,” Lexi says, picking up all the garbage and stuffing it into a bag. I shake out the blanket and fold it up, while she finishes cleaning up, and then we join them over by the slides. Aiden is standing at the bottom, while the girls take turns sliding down. He catches them every time, and then tickles them, making them squeal.
“Again!” Abigail yells, sliding down so Aiden can catch her.
“Be careful,” he says when he sets her down and she toddles over to the steps. “Walk, Baby Abigail.”
Lexi and I laugh at that. “I think he’ll always call her Baby Abigail.”
“Probably,” she agrees. “Speaking of babies… How are you?”
“I’m okay. The bleeding stopped. The doctor said we can try again after I get my period.”