She can say what she wants, but I feel like a Grade A asshole today, especially when it comes to her.
I should have taken better care of her today. Why couldn’t I have figured out a better way to show her w
hat happened? Why did I just have to blurt it out? And fuck. I cried. I fucking cried to her about it, which is maybe the worst part.
Emilia doesn’t seem upset about her dad, though. She comes over and she cups my cheek.
“Our fathers were very lonely men,” she says carefully. This is murky water here, and we’re both not sure how to navigate through it. Everything we say and do needs to be done very carefully.
“Yes.”
“I think it’s lucky that they found each other. Don’t you?”
I swallow hard. I don’t know what to say.
“I guess I never thought of him as lonely.”
“It’s hard to be a man the world looks up to. It’s hard to be responsible for everything,” she says. “Our fathers didn’t make good decisions. Not on any levels. They weren’t good dads and they were terrible husbands, but it makes me a little happier to know that my father had this one good thing that brought him peace.”
“They had each other,” I repeat, and then I kiss her gently at first. Then hard and fast and greedily. I still want to be gentle and delicate with her. For a little while, I kind of thought I was going to lose her. I don’t know much about asthma and I definitely don’t know much about taking care of someone who can randomly have flareups like the one she had, but I know that Emilia is precious to me, and I will do everything in my power to protect her.
I’ll do everything I can to keep her safe.
I hate knowing that I was a dick to her for so long. I don’t like the realization that I brought her so much pain and horror. I shouldn’t have been so cruel to her. I should not have been so mean.
But now, kissing her, everything seems to feel right in the world, and when she pushes me gently backwards, I move and find myself sitting on the bed. I look up at her, surprised.
“What are you doing, Emilia?”
“Something I should have done a long time ago,” she whispers.
I sit perfectly still as she grabs the hem of her dress and pulls it up and over her head. She’s standing in front of me wearing only ballet flats and the world’s tiniest thong. In an instant, she kicks her shoes off, shoving them under my bed, and she hooks her thumbs into the thong and shoves it down.
I suck in a breath because fuck, she’s damn gorgeous, and she climbs up onto the bed and straddles me.
Emilia kisses me eagerly. She presses her hands into mine and we hold hands as we kiss. Her breasts rub against my shirt, and I can’t wait until I can feel them right against my skin. I’ve dreamed about moments like this my entire life and now, it’s finally happening. Now I’m alone in my dorm room with Emilia Riley and yeah, anything at all could happen.
Tonight is the night our worlds collide.
Tonight is the night everything changes.
She grinds down, rubbing herself against my pants, and I reach for her hips and hold her in place.
“Emilia,” I whisper. “We don’t have to do anything you aren’t ready for.”
I don’t know why I’m saying this.
With any other girl, I wouldn’t care. I’d get them off and then I’d come and that would be the whole of it, but with her, things are different.
With Emilia, I want to know this is good for her.
I want her to enjoy herself.
More than anything else, I want to know that I made tonight as memorable as possible because no matter what she says, I’m completely sure that tonight is going to be her very first time.
“I’m ready.”
“Are you sure?”