I came apart for him, and it’s the most horrifying thing I’ve ever done.
My body reacted to Gavin’s touch like it was made for him. I came completely apart like I was meant to be doing just that. He shouldn’t have had such an incredible effect on me, but he did, and it’s embarrassing and horrible.
Gavin didn’t know about my dad.
He didn’t know about the deal, but I don’t know why.
Why didn’t anyone tell him? How come I knew, but he didn’t? I hadn’t meant to tell him that at the cemetery. I hadn’t meant to let any of that slip out, but it had. I mean, I kind of thought he already knew.
He didn’t, though.
He had no clue and the information just hit him like a bomb. He didn’t even have time to process it before the rain started, and then he was busy being a gentleman.
Gavin had no responsibility to me. It wasn’t his job to take me home. It certainly wasn’t his job to get me so fucking horny that I was practically begging him to let me come.
Making out with him wasn’t on my plan for the day, but it happened, and I don’t really know what to do now.
Shit.
What do I do now?
He stops the car in front of the dorms.
“Emilia,” he starts to say. I look at him and he’s gripping the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles are white.
I can’t talk to him, though.
I can’t make myself say anything to him about what we did because it’s just humiliating.
He’s a bully and he’s mean and he’s got a soft side I’m not ready for.
I just wasn’t fucking expecting any of that.
And the worst part is that after I came, he was looking at me like he used to. That was a million years ago, though. The girl that he kissed all those years ago no longer exists. She’s dead now: to me and to the world.
The new me won’t fall in love with him.
I won’t say I love him just because he made me come.
Anyone can do that.
Hell, even my showerhead can do that.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, and when our eyes meet, I can see his glistening with tears.
I made him cry.
“Don’t say you’re sorry.” I place my hand on the car door, but I don’t open it just yet.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he says.
“Yes, you did, Gavin. Everything you’ve done for the last five years has been designed to do maximum damage, but congratulations,” I whisper, choking on my own words. “You finally did it.”
He finally broke me.
There will be no coming back from this.
No happy ending.