Nothing.
“Please don’t go,” he whispers, and I hate the way he looks so broken. He looks like I destroyed him.
I know that I’m being hard on him. I know that my reaction is totally uncalled for. I was begging him to make me come. I was fully participating in our make-out session, but I can’t shake the idea that it’s a trick. I can’t stop thinking that somehow, he’s going to try to use this to hurt me again the way he has in the past.
Our trust has been shattered and a few carefully stolen kisses won’t change that.
Not for me.
My heart feels like it’s choking when I look
away from him. I push open the car door, step outside, and slam it shut. Then I run up to the building and reach for my keycard from my jacket pocket.
“Shit,” I palm my pockets. My phone and inhaler are gone. They must have fallen out of my jacket pockets while I was in Gavin’s car. My keycard is in my phone. Crap. I turn around, but he’s already gone, and I don’t really blame him. He probably doesn’t want to be here anymore than I do.
I don’t know what time it is. I’m certain someone will still be awake who can let me in. I can’t call anyone since I obviously don’t have a phone, but that’s fine.
Instead, I reach up and start knocking.
Knock.
Knock.
Knock.
“Come on,” I yell. “Let me in!”
I’m starting to feel cold and the rain seems to be coming down heavier, but all I can think about is him.
I broke him tonight. I could see the moment it happened. I could tell exactly when he seemed to fall apart and I really hate myself for being the one who did that to him.
I should have behaved differently or at least figured out a way to control my emotions instead of totally shutting down, but I didn’t.
I bang on the door again, wishing that things were different.
“What the fuck are you doing?” A familiar voice finally says. Karen pushes the door open and grabs my arm, pulling me in.
“I’m sorry. I lost my key.”
“Yeah, I can see that. What the fuck happened to you?” She looks me up and down, obviously taking in my disheveled appearance.
She pauses when she sees my eyes. They’re probably red and swollen from crying.
Shit.
I do not feel like explaining anything to her.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Whatever. Come on.”
Karen drags me upstairs to the RA’s room and knocks on the door.
Felicity opens the door and gawks when she sees me.
“What happened?”
“I got caught in the rain.”