“Nope. I mean, she grew up in such a conservative and strict household, you know? They didn’t really think jokes were okay.”
“That’s insanity,” I say. “That’s actually, quite literally, insane.”
It’s a wonder that Alexis turned out half as normal as she did. When the two of us were together, there was no doubt in my mind that we were supposed to be together. After all, I loved her above everything else.
She was my everything.
Then she was gone.
Now?
Now I’m spending time with her best friend and our love child and there’s a part of me that just can’t help but think all of this is wrong somehow. I know that’s not true, but it feels a little wrong, a little morbid. I feel like I should be lying in bed, screaming and crying. I shouldn’t be here laughing or having fun or thinking about all of the things I loved about Alexis. I should be mourning her: not celebrating her life.
Right?
It feels like there’s something wrong with me right now that I’m just sitting around thinking about all of the good times. I worry that I’m screwing up my own mourning somehow.
“She always said that a good joke was like a shot of whiskey: it’d warm you right up,” Polly shakes her head. “Man, I really miss her.”
“I’m sorry,” I say.
“Don’t say that.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m sorry doesn’t mean anything, Jace. It’s not going to bring her back and it’s not going to make it not hurt.”
“You’re right,” I say. Suddenly, I look down, and I notice that Brandon has fallen asleep again. Damn, that kid sleeps a lot. Human babies are supposedly always awake, but I guess that’s one of the nice things about shifter kids: they love to snooze.
“He’s asleep,” she says, looking at him.
“How often does he nap?”
“Constantly, to be honest. Alexis was worried he’d never learn to crawl or walk because he spends all of his time sleeping.”
“Alexis worried too much,” I say. I pull her to her feet and bring her in for a tight hug.
“What was that for?”
“To comfort you.”
“I don’t need comforting.”
“Don’t you?”
“Nope.”
“You aren’t a little sad?”
“Nope.”
“You aren’t a little lonely?”
“Not at all.”
“You aren’
t just a little bit anxious to see what I’m going to do to you once you’re alone in the bedroom with me?” I raise an eyebrow, and she stills. Yeah, she’s a curious little thing. She’s much too curious to let an invitation like that just hang. She wants to know exactly what I’m going to do, and luckily, I’m quite prepared to show her.