Because you’ll break your heart.
But wouldn’t it be better to get as much of Jeff as possible, while she could? To drink in as much of the experience as she’d get, so that later, when she was gone, she could look back on it and nourish herself with it, a bit?
Or would she just be more and more bitter that she didn’t have him anymore? Was she making excuses just because she wanted him so much?
She didn’t know.
Before she could come up with any kind of an answer, her phone buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out. Reception had come back, and her phone was informing her that she had voicemails. A few of them. And missed calls from her mom.
Leah sighed. Then she scolded herself for being annoyed. Her mother was worried about her, like any mother would be. There was no reason to be irritated by that.
Rather than listen to the messages, Leah just called her mom back right away. She picked up immediately, and Leah closed her eyes through the expected storm of anger.
“Where the hell are you? I thought you were coming last night! If you changed your plans and didn’t tell me—”
“No, Mom,” Leah interrupted. “There was a big snowstorm last night a
nd I had some car trouble. I’m right near Glacier, but it might take a little while to get the car fixed, so I don’t know when I’m going to get there.”
“Where are you staying? You can’t afford a motel, can you? I’m not sending you money.” Her mother’s voice was sharp and annoyed.
“No, Mom. One of the locals took pity on me and is putting me and Emily up for a few days. Don’t worry about it.”
“Is this local a man or a woman?” her mom asked suspiciously.
Leah didn’t want to lie, but she didn’t want to tell the truth, either. She stayed quiet. How did her mom always know to ask the worst possible questions?
“A man, then.” Her mom sounded disgusted. “This is how you got into this in the first place, Leah! You’d better not end up pregnant again, because I don’t even have the space for one baby, let alone two.”
Leah sat down on the couch, hunching in on herself as tears pricked at her eyes. In just a few words, her mother had transformed the entire situation into something that sounded so...sordid.
Like Jeff would only have let her stay with him if they were sleeping together, which she knew wasn’t true. He would’ve offered his home to her and Emily even if she’d said no last night, even if she said no tonight and any other nights. He was that kind of a guy.
And even though they had slept together last night, it had been wonderful. Beautiful. Not like her mother was making it sound.
“I’m not going to get pregnant again, Mom,” Leah said. She’d gotten a birth control implant right after Emily was born, because neither she nor Rob had wanted to risk an accidental pregnancy, and even with the implant, she wasn’t about to have unprotected sex with Jeff, because nothing was one hundred percent certain. Plus, she was still breastfeeding. “It’s fine. It’s not like that.”
“Of course it isn’t,” her mom said, sounding like she didn’t believe her one bit. “You know, I wasn’t happy when you told me you had to come home again, but I’m starting to think it’s the best place for you. Especially with a little girl around.”
Leah swallowed and bit her lip. The tears receded. “Well, Mom, that’s where I’m going, as soon as I can get my car fixed, all right? I’ll keep you posted on when.”
“Fine,” her mom said. “I have to get back to work. See if you can find any female locals who might take you in.” She hung up.
Leah set her phone on the coffee table, resisting the urge to throw it at the wall, and let herself fall down to lie on the couch.
Maybe she’d just close her eyes.
Maybe if she closed her eyes, she’d wake up and everything would be better.
***
Jeff pulled into work, was about to get out of the car, and then remembered his phone.
He’d grabbed it as he’d left, but hadn’t checked the messages yet. As he thumbed it on, he winced.
Seventeen missed calls. Cal, Grey, Cal again, his mom, his dad, his oldest sister, his oldest brother, his mom again...
Hastily, he dialed his parents’ house.