“I guess it’s good it’s been so hot lately,” he said. “I haven’t had to use the sheet or the comforter, so it looks like I actually made my bed.”
I laughed, a little too loudly. I was starting to feel nervous, shy about him seeing me naked, uncertain that I’d even know what to do. This was exactly what Tara had been talking about! I was a fool to think that I was doing someone a favor by saving myself—it was really more like a huge disservice, because I was going to be completely clueless as what to do.
Graham came and stood in front of me, a gentle but serious expression on his face. “We don’t have to do this right now if you don’t want to,” he said.
“No, it’s all right. I want to.”
He brought his hand up to my chin and tilted my head up. “I don’t know if anyone that I’ve been with before has been a virgin,” he said.
“The first person you slept with wasn’t?” I asked, surprised.
He laughed. “Oh, hell no. I was 13; she was almost 18. Definitely not a virgin.”
“Oh,” I said. “I guess I just thought ... I don’t know, virgins slept with virgins.” I realized how stupid that sounded once I’d said it out loud.
He took a step closer to me and leaned his head down. I let my eyes close as his mouth pressed against mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and let my body sink into the contour of his. He had his hands around my waist, and he slowly moved them down over my ass.
And it was like as long as I didn’t think, I would know what to do. The second I started to pay any attention to my thoughts, I was barraged with things like: You don’t know what you’re doing! Am I doing this right? Does he want you to put your hand there?
But when I tuned all that mental chatter out, it was as though my body knew exactly what to do, exactly how to respond to his touches. As we kissed, I ran my hand through his hair, felt the smooth muscles and ropy tendons of his neck.
We took a few shuffling sidesteps toward the bed. Before we sat down, though, he pulled his T-shirt off, revealing a sculpted torso and large, black and white tattoos. They weren’t images, but intricate Celtic and tribal designs.
“Those are beautiful,” I said, running my fingertips across one of them. “They almost make you look like a sculpture.”
He pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it on the ground next to his. His hands were warm against the small of my back, and he kissed slow circles on my neck. I had to bite my lip not to laugh because it tickled, but that just heightened the sensation of his mouth against my skin. His hands moved up slowly and I felt him unclasp my bra, the straps sliding slowly down my arms.
He undid his pants and pushed them down, revealing more tattoos across his thighs. He undid the button on my shorts and pushed them down, and I stepped out of my underwear, and then we were both there, naked. I could feel the thoughts trying to push their way back in, thoughts that were trying to convinc
e me I should feel awkward right now that I was standing here in front of this guy I barely knew, but I ignored them and started to kiss him again. He brought his hands up to my breasts, squeezing them, gently tweaking my nipples between his thumb and forefinger. It felt so good I let out a gasp as our tongues explored each other’s mouths.
We lay down on the bed on our sides, facing each other. I could feel his cock pressing against me. I reached down and wrapped my hand around it, surprised at how silky smooth the skin was. I moved my hand slowly up and down. He let out a long exhale and buried his face into my neck, nipping gently at my collarbone. He traced his fingers down my torso, over my hip bone, then lightly through my pubic hair. He stopped for a second, only to bring his fingers up to his mouth, get them wet with saliva, and then bring them back down. I spread my legs apart and felt a chill shoot up my spine as he slowly slid a slick finger into me.
“Tell me if I’m going too fast,” he whispered.
I shook my head, rocking my hips against his hand. No, I wanted to say, you’re not going fast enough! I couldn’t describe the feeling; I just wanted more. I wanted him in me, deeper, faster, I wanted that feeling to last for as long as it could. My whole body quivered. I was so wet down there; no way it was just from the saliva from his fingers.
“That feels so good,” I said, a pleading note in my voice begging that he not stop what he was doing. “I didn’t know it was going to feel so good.”
He brought his wet fingers up to my clit and moved them in slow circles before sliding them back into my pussy. My breath came in heaving gasps, and a building sensation of almost unbearable pleasure was threatening to completely overwhelm me. I couldn’t control the sounds I was making and almost didn’t feel like I was in control of my own body anymore. I didn’t care; I just wanted him to keep doing what he was doing. I squeezed my eyes shut and bucked my hips against his hand and let myself be overtaken.
The feeling was centralized in my pelvis and radiated out, reaching every single cell in my body. It kept building and building, like there was no cap for the amount of pleasure a person was capable of experiencing. Could someone die from having an orgasm? It was like an earthquake or some other cataclysmic event where you know the outcome is going to be completely earth-shattering and you are not sure you’re going to be able to survive it.
I felt his mouth against my breast, the tip of tongue swirling around my nipple. And that did it—it sent me over, the sensation peaked, I saw stars, I almost started crying. My thighs were wet and my muscles ached in a most delicious way. I kept saying Oh my God, in between heaving breaths, and I knew I sounded like a fool but I didn’t care.
He kissed my forehead, and then reached over and pulled something from his bedside table. A condom, which he put on deftly, and then positioned himself between my legs. My entire body was still buzzing as he lowered himself down on his forearms above me. I could feel his cock between my legs.
“I’ll stop if you want me to,” he said, looking into my eyes. “All you need to do is say so.”
“That’s the last thing I want you to do.” I smiled. “I don’t think I have ever felt so good in my entire life.”
He moved slowly, though, just pressing the head of his cock against me but not pushing it in. I was so wet though, it felt like it would be able to easily just slide in, and I moved my thighs apart even wider. I tried to slide my butt down a little the next time I felt him press against me, and this time, the head of his cock slid in. It was much bigger than his two fingers had been, and there was a stretching sensation that was not uncomfortable, just foreign. I relaxed and he moved his hips forward slowly, sliding in further and further, until he was all the way in and our pelvises were pressed against each other.
“Is this okay?” he asked. I nodded, and he let his eyes fall closed, a tiny smile on his face. “Good, because you feel fucking incredible.”
I ran my hands all the way down his back and squeezed his muscular ass while he moved his hips, not just back and forth, but side to side and in languid figure 8 motions. He started to move faster, and when I looked up at him, his eyes were closed and there was almost a pained expression on his face. His eyes were squeezed shut, his teeth clenched, the tendons in his neck prominent. And I began to feel that sensation start to build again in my own pelvis, gaining momentum against his thrusts. I brought my arms up around his neck and wrapped my legs around his waist. The expression on his face didn’t change; it just deepened, if anything, and then he let out a shout as he pushed his hips against me hard.
After a minute, he rolled off and lay next to me. We were both panting and slick with sweat. He reached over and grabbed my hand, squeezed it.