"You're supposed to take a plane and stay at a hotel like a normal person," she said. I smiled, knowing she was just kidding.
"I want to get from coast to coast."
"In that piece of trash car? You won't even get from here to Minneapolis," she joked.
Tiff was a homebody. She had a passport, but wasn't as keen on filling it up as I was. I had been to Mexico and Puerto Rico, but I wanted to see the country before I traveled anywhere else international. The only reason I had seen Mount Rushmore was a field trip during elementary school. If I was going to be a tourist, where was a better place to start than here? The idea for the road trip had started last year because of the canceled trip to Glacier National Park that Roman and I had been talking about taking.
"You're right. I should probably just hitch," I laughed.
"You rea
lly want to end up dead in a psychopath’s trunk, don't you?"
"Maybe one big trip and I'll get it out of my system," I said, putting the book back. I doubted myself as I said it, but I was willing to try it and see whether I could prove myself wrong. What I really wanted to do was relocate, somewhere with a coast; the closer to a beach I was, the better. Maybe I'd end up back here eventually, but not before I had been around for a few years...or many years, we'd see.
"I'd join you if you’d schedule the trip for after my graduation."
"Maybe I can take Sean," I laughed.
"Don't. He sounds like the kind of guy who you'd get into a fight with and he'd leave you on the side of the road," she said. Sean and I had never really fought, we were still too casual for that, but that didn't even really sound that out of character for him. I didn't bother trying to defend him.
"Sounds like solo it is, then."
"Why don't you take..." She stopped herself before she finished her suggestion, but she didn't have to say it for me to know the rest of it. Why don't you take Roman, she wanted to say. We both knew why. I didn't know why she was acting like she didn't. She was supposed to be on my side.
"That everything?" I asked instead, changing the subject. She frowned like she was going to keep going.
"Yeah. Unless you need anything else," she said. Thank God, she wasn't about to push it. I said I was good, too, and we left the store. I didn't have siblings, but Roman and Tiffany had always been close. I adored their relationship, maybe it was a family thing, she had to stick up for him because they were related or something.
There was another one when I got back to my apartment. I picked it up and opened it immediately before I went inside. Same blue ink, same handwriting.
I missed you at the picnic today... Maybe tomorrow?
Maybe tomorrow... He sure was optimistic for a person who had no right to be. I shook my head, letting myself into my apartment. It was not happening tomorrow. Not the day after that, either.
Chapter Thirteen
Roman
At least it's nice out, I thought, opening the basket and sliding the uneaten food into it. I was hungry, but stopped myself. What if she showed up? Yeah, it was already two in the afternoon but what if the minute I packed up and left, she showed up and found nobody here?
Watch it, Roman, you're starting to sound desperate.
I had waited about the same amount of time each day. Two hours felt like plenty of time to let her get from wherever she was to here. I knew where she lived, it wasn't that much of a trip.
Being bitter about it was easy. I was the one who had left, but she had been the one who had been left. I didn't like to use the word dumped, but yeah, I had dumped her and then disappeared for a year. She needed time. She deserved time. I couldn't fault her for not being ready. I hadn't given her a reason to ever think I was even coming back, let alone wanted to be with her again.
The only reason you're like this is your fault, I thought. You want that girl back now, you gotta wait for her. You did shit on your terms without asking her before and now she's in the driver’s seat, all you can do is be ready when she is.
I was ready. More than that. Every day that passed was another I wasn't spending with her. How much fucking better was everything when we had been together? How much more fun was everything, how much happier was I? Her, too.
I wanted that back, and I was getting it. She needed to know that, but I wasn't doing anything hanging out here when it was clear at least for today that she wasn't going to show. There was tomorrow, and the day after that, too. As many days after those that it would end up taking.
I got up and shook the blanket out, folding it up so it could fit in the basket with the food. I also pulled one of the sandwiches I had bought for us out and ate it. Sundried tomato, Swiss cheese, and pickle; it sounded gross, but was actually great. Ron's favorite, she'd always get them at the deli I had passed coming here. I had gotten it because she liked them, though; it wasn't fun eating her favorite foods without her. It just made me think about her and how we weren't together.
My phone rang in my pocket as I backed out of my parking spot, getting ready to leave the park. I pulled it out hoping it was Ron, but knowing better than to think I'd get that lucky. I wasn't even sure she still had the same number. I'd probably ask Tiff for it, she'd give it to me. Don was calling me. I picked up, putting him on speaker so I could keep driving.
"Rome?"