Shit, I needed to calm myself down before I ended up upsetting her. I didn't want anything to ruin this date. Even my own desires for my wife.
Baseball, grandma, possums, cookies ...
By the time Shelly turned to me, a big grin on her face, I'd managed to get my hormones in check.
"I haven't been out here in forever, it looks great," Shelly said, her gaze sweeping the pond and its surrounding areas. "Do they still have paddleboats?"
I wondered if she was thinking back to our first kiss, and said, "Yeah, they sure do. I thought we'd rent one after we eat."
She offered me a piece of bread, and I took it gently from her hand before throwing it out to the waiting ducks. A couple of them went after it, and Shelly laughed when they started quacking at each other.
"How's everything at work?" I asked as she threw the last piece of bread.
"It's been okay," she said quietly. "I haven't been very focused, I'll admit, but everyone's been understanding."
Her answer made me wish I'd brought up something else. I needed to think of safe topics. Things that would make her happy, not sad.
As we walked back to the blanket, she asked, "How about you? Work okay?"
I held out my hand to help her down on the blanket, and she took it with a small smile. I felt the warmth of her hand in mine, and wished that I could pull her to me, but I knew it was too soon.
I feared I'd never get to hold her in my arms again, but I shook it off and forced myself to remain positive. If I didn't believe Shelly could forgive me, why would she?
/> After she was seated, I followed suit and sat with my legs stretched out in front of me.
"It's been good, kind of slow, but TJ's been keeping me entertained."
"I bet."
"He told me this story the other day about a girl he picked up in Walmart. He walked right up to her, handed her his phone, and told her to program her number in, so he could call before he came over to pick her up at eight."
"Did she give it to him?" Shelly asked with a smile. She loved TJ stories.
"She sure did, didn't even bat an eye. Once he had her number, TJ walked away giving her a wink and a smile."
The sound of Shelly's laughter warmed me up from the inside out. There's nothing I wouldn't do to hear that sound for the rest of my life.
As we ate, we kept to the safe topics, talking about our friends and family. It was a wonderful meal, and when we were done eating Shelly asked playfully, "So, did your mother pack this basket for you?"
"Nope," I responded with a grin. "I made it all myself."
We both knew I was lying, I had no game when it came to cooking. I’d picked everything up, ready to eat, at the supermarket. I was thrilled that Shelly was joking with me, just like she used to.
I stood up and held out my hand to her.
"The paddleboats await." She put her hand in mine and I helped her to her feet. When we started in the direction of the rentals, I kept holding her hand, hopeful that she wouldn't pull away.
She didn't.
When we got to the rental booth, I reluctantly let her hand go so I could pay for the boat.
"I haven't been in a paddleboat since the last time we were here," I said as I guided her to the blue boat we had rented.
"Me neither," Shelly responded. "I don't know why not, I remember we had fun."
"I guess we just got caught up in life," I admitted. "We didn't take enough days off to do something fun."
Once we were both seated, we started paddling toward the middle of the water.