"But what happened?"
"We don't really know," said Jude. "One minute it was all on, next thing Mark wasn't going to Tuscany and-" "You'll never guess who Rebecca's going out with now," interrupted Shaz.
"Who?"
"It's someone you know."
"Not Daniel?" I said, feeling an odd mixture of emotions.
"No."
"Colin Firth?"
"No."
"Phew. Tom?"
"No. Think of someone else you know quite well. Married."
"My dad? Magda's Jeremy?"
"Now you're getting warm."
"What? It's not Geoffrey Alconbury, is it?"
"No." Shaz giggled. "He's married to Una and he's gay."
"Giles Benwick," said Jude suddenly.
"Who?" I gibbered.
"Giles Benwick," confirmed Shaz. "You know Giles, for God's sake, the one who works with Mark, who you rescued from suicide at Rebecca's."
"He had that thing about you."
"He and Rebecca both stayed holed up in Gloucestershire after their accidents reading self-help books and now they are together."
"They are as one," added Jude.
"They are joined in the act of love," expanded Shaz.
There was a pause while we all looked at each other, stunned at this strange act of the heavens.
"The world has gone mad," I burst out with a mixture of wonderment and fear. "Giles Benwick isn't handsome, he isn't rich."
"Well, actually he is," murmured Jude.
"But he isn't someone else's boyfriend. He isn't a status symbol in any normal Rebecca way."
"Apart from being very rich," said Jude.
"Yet Rebecca has chosen him."
"That's right, that's exactly right," said " Shaz, excitedly. "Strange times! Strange times indeed!"
"Soon Prince Philip will ask me to be his girlfriend, and Tom will be going out with the Queen," I cried.
"Not Pretentious Jerome, but our owni, dear Queen," clarified Shaz.