My palms get sweaty, my stomach twists and turns, the hair on my neck stands up, and my skin bristles with nerves when she's close. I'm not used to this feeling, and I can't honestly say I know what to do with it. But I do like the way she feels in my hands, and the way she looks into my eyes. I love her smile, and her laugh. I love everything about her, and I'm not ready to just walk away from her because she thinks I'm a risk.
She might not see it, but I'm nervous as hell around her. I'm wearing my confidence like armor and using it to show this girl that taking a chance can be worth it.
She should take a chance on me, on us, and see where it goes. In the end, she might find out that the world is more than just a black and white. All the color in the world comes from the choices you make. And sometimes those choices can lead you places you never expect.
A risk, a chance, it doesn't really matter what you call it, the only thing that matters is what you do with it when it's staring you in the face.
“Okay, it's a date.”
7
Millie
I run flat hands over the front of my dress as I stand in the living room. I'm staring out at the driveway anxiously waiting for Hardin.
He'll be here any minute now.
My hands nervously rub back and forth while I pace in front of the window. My heart stops for a single beat at every car that comes up my road.
Nope, not him, I think to myself as the fourth car passes without slowing down.
He said he'd be here at six to pick me up for our date. My eyes shift to the old grandfather clock.
I can't believe I said yes to this. To a date—a real date, and not just sex. A swarm of butterflies take flight in my belly as I exhale a heavy breath. This is crazy. Why am I so nervous?
I've seen him naked, he's seen me naked. It doesn't get more personal than that. There's absolutely no reason for the pit in my stomach right now.
“Where are you going?” my father asks as he comes up behind me.
“Out,” I answer flatly, barely making eye contact.
“You're awfully dressed up for just going out, don't you think?”
“No, I don't think so.” I don't hide the fact I'm still my pissed at him. “Are you going to try and tell me how to dress now, too?”
“Millie, stop. You're acting like a child.”
I frown, pushing out my jaw. “Gee, I wonder why?”
My father rolls his eyes. “So, who are you waiting for? Kelsie?”
Should I tell him?
I'm tempted to throw it in his face. I can feel it on the tip of my tongue. I know he'll freak out, probably try to demand I stay home. I wouldn't put it past him to attempt to lock me in my room like Rapunzel.
Hardin's name is sitting in the back of my throat, but I swallow hard and decide not to share. I don't want to ruin my night by telling my father anything. It's none of his business. I might live under his roof, and I have to put up with certain things, but I still deserve to have a life that's just my own.
“If you must know, I have a date.”
He cocks a brow curiously. “Really. A date, huh? Let me guess, is it. . .” He pauses, rolling a finger in the air. “What's his name?” he asks as he thinks. “The Greene's boy. Carver, Carlin—”
“Carter, his name is Carter, and no, I'm not going out with him.” Shivering at the thought, I scrunch my face and shake my head. “Seriously, Dad, yuck.”
Carter Greene is for all intents and purposes a royal jerk. He's full of himself and shouldn't be. His father is a big time banker, and Carter thinks money is all he needs to be a catch. He's wrong. If anything, it makes him ugly.
My father slowly lowers himself into his favorite chair. It's the only piece of furniture in our house that has any real wear on it. The deep brown of the leather is now lighter with cracks rippling across the arms. There are rips in the cushion of the seat, and little wisps of cotton that poke out from tiny pin holes.
The chair literally looks like a cat clawed at it for days on end, and we don't even have any pets.
My mother's wanted him to throw it out for years. Once she actually put it on the curb, but he grabbed it before the trash collectors came, and dragged it back inside. It was his first purchase after college for his first office, and he claims the chair helps him think. He refuses to let it go.