Rex starts the truck with a vicious twist of his fist and peels out of the parking lot. “What the hell were you thinking?”
“It was an accident,” I say, before squaring my shoulders. “But I’m not sorry.”
The steering wheel groans under his hands. “You should be.”
“Why? Because we offended some strangers?” A shout builds in my throat and I don’t try to calm myself down. “I don’t care.”
“I care,” he bites out. “I care about everyone in the goddamn store staring at you like some kind of freak.”
My vision blurs with tears. “That’s how you were looking at me.”
Rex does a double take. “The hell I was, girl. I just wanted to get you out of there before one of them men said something and I fractured their skull.”
“Are you going to do that every time? Because this will probably happen again. Even before I called you…” The title sticks in my throat and that alone makes me sad. “They were already staring. From the second we walked inside. Are you planning to keep me locked inside forever?”
It’s obvious he considers it for a few beats—until I screech in my throat. “Not going to keep you locked inside,” he says, finally. “We just need a few ground rules.”
“Like what?”
“Like when we’re in public, we don’t touch. Don’t kiss or hold hands. We’re uncle and niece. And that’s it.”
Another section of my heart loosens and drops. “But it’s a lie.”
“No, it ain’t, Clara.” He bashes his fist on the dashboard. “You and me are wrong. That shit back there? It was your proof. First damn time we go out in public and we might as well be wearing a sign. I’m putting my cock somewhere it don’t belong and they could smell it on us.”
“Wrong?” I whisper, dazed. “But holding hands was one of my favorite parts.”
He slides me a troubled look. “That’s…too bad.” His Adam’s apple bobs. “Can’t do it no more.”
We’re silent for the rest of the ride back to the rental cabin. Every half mile, I sense Rex watching me and can tell he wants to say more. There’s nothing left to say, though. I don’t feel safe with him now. Oh, I know he would never let anyone hurt me. But my mental safety…the safety of my heart…I put those things in his keeping and he let me down. It’s as if I parachuted out of a plane this morning and soared, soared so high, only to have my harness cut. The parachute is floating above me out of reach now while I plummet to earth.
Finally, we reach the cabin and he parks alongside the trucks belonging to Rudy and Hank. We sit in silence for a moment after he puts the vehicle in park. “Clara…”
Hope wells in my chest. “Yes?”
Seconds tick by. “Nothing.” He takes a cigar from the sun visor, shoving open the driver’s side and getting out. “See you inside,” he mutters, walking away in a cloud of smoke.
I wait until he’s been inside a full minute before grabbing my backpack, throwing it over my shoulder and climbing out. But I don’t follow Rex into the cabin. I take the broken pieces of my heart and jog toward my rental bike.
Chapter Twelve
Rex
I can’t believe I hurt her. Who could hurt such a sweet girl?
Holding hands was one of my favorite parts.
A roar leaves my throat and I stub out the cigar, resuming my pacing on the back porch of the cabin. Holding her hand and leading her into that stupid eye doctor was one of my favorite parts, too. Standing guard while she was examined, handing over my credit card afterward. All of it. Every second. I’m her Daddy and I make everything better for her. It’s a privilege.
You blacken everything.
Maybe it’s true. Even though she makes me feel the opposite. No matter how I dice it, though, the way those motherfuckers were looking at my girl sideways was all because she was with me.
I rear back and throw a punch at the rail, disconnecting it from the deck floor, leaving it teetering on the edge. Growing up, when my parents took me out in public, everyone looked at me the same way they were looking at Clara today. Like a single decision made before I was born was somehow my fault. Men and women alike in that eye doctor gave Clara the same treatment. I didn’t bother to notice how they regarded me. Only her. She’s all I care about. And I can’t be responsible for people treating her bad. She deserves the fucking best of everything.
So I asked her to pretend. To keep our real relationship a secret in public. At the time, it seemed as though the only possibility, if we’re going to stay together. And we are staying together, because I can’t breathe without her. Even now, she’s on the other side of the cabin and I’m not happy. I want her looking up at me with trust in her eyes, every minute of the day. Need Clara. Need.