A SET of strong arms that felt like steel bands encircled my waist, dragging me away from the darkness. I wanted to fight back, to make them leave me alone. Their grasp was relentless though, tugging me toward the light and away from my safe place. My head broke the surface as Jacob waded into the water, taking me from the arms of whoever had rescued me.
“Mia, are you okay?” Jacob said with panic as he tugged me to the edge of the pool. My rescuer followed behind us, helping me to the steps. “You could have drowned. Why were you so close to the pool?” he asked, pausing in his tirade.
I was too exhausted to answer and already missed the silence of the bottom of the pool. My legs scraped against the steps and I tried to get myself to a standing position. It took several attempts. My limbs felt like they were made of concrete and I realized it was my wet jeans. “I’m okay,” I said, keeping my eyes down. I could hear everyone snickering and didn’t need to see them doing it too. I had already proved how crazy I was.
A towel was thrown over my shoulders when my feet hit the deck. I wasn’t even aware my teeth were chattering until Jacob tucked the towel under my chin.
“Man, I owe you big-time,” Jacob said, holding a fist out to a guy who was soaking wet like I was.
They knocked knuckles together. “Not a problem. Three summers of lifeguarding. You okay, Mia?”
“I’m fine,” I answered unconvincingly through chattering teeth.
Jacob slung another towel across my shoulders. “I better take you home. Mom will have my dumbass head on a pike if you get sick.” He propelled me toward the door after throwing another thank-you at my rescuer. I kept my eyes averted away from everyone else as we left. They could continue their party and say whatever they wanted about me after I was gone. The freak was leaving the building.
“You sure you’re okay?” Jacob asked, kicking up the heat in the car even though it was mild outside. My teeth were still chattering.
“Yes. I’m sorry I ruined your party.”
Jacob shot me a sideways glance. “You didn’t ruin my party. I’m the doucheking who left you alone. I promised Mom I’d take care of you.” He thumped the steering wheel in frustration.
I wasn’t exactly in a position to contradict anything he said. I didn’t want to seem fragile, but it was hard to stick up for myself after being pulled unwillingly from a pool. Weary from what felt like an endless day, I rested my head against the window. The streetlights broke up the dark, whizzing by the window as we passed them. My eyes felt heavy, like I could have fallen asleep.
Mom was sitting in the living room crocheting when Jacob and I staggered in ten minutes after leaving the party. Her look of surprise at our early arrival turned to concern when she saw me dripping water all over the hardwood floors. “Mia, what happened?” she asked, jumping to her feet. The question was meant for me, but she looked to Jacob, demanding an answer.
“I fe-l-l in the pool,” I answered, trying to talk around my knocking teeth.
“She should get in a hot shower. She’s been shivering like that since she came out of the water,” Jacob said. He was as wet as I was, but didn’t seem to be fazed.
Mom clucked her tongue. “You should too. She can take a bath in my tub, so you can shower in your bathroom. After that I want an explanation.”
Jacob nodded, dripping water as he walked away. Mom shuttled me up to her bathroom. She bustled around, turning the water on full blast in a large oval-shaped tub. The only thing I had in my basement bathroom was a walk-in shower stall. Not that Judy would have ever let me use a tub anyway. She believed they were unhygienic. If she saw me now she would freak. Glancing at the stall on the other side of the tub, I wondered if I should insist on showering instead.
Mom was, of course, oblivious to my dilemma. I watched as she picked up a bottle of scented soap and dumped a generous amount into the tub. Big frothy bubbles popped up on the surface, hiding the water underneath. Only when the bubbles were threatening to escape over the edge of the tub did she twist the water off.
“I’ll get you some dry clothes while you settle in,” she said, smiling at me before heading out of the bathroom. She closed the door, leaving me to face my demons alone. I glanced again at the shower stall, taking a half-step toward it before changing my mind. Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I stripped out of my sopping wet clothes and stepped into the steaming, deep bathtub. Hot water lapped over my knees. I sank down, letting it wrap me like a cocoon as the water came close to overflowing over the side of the tub. The bubbles tickled my nose, making me smile for the first time that evening.
I leaned back and closed my eyes, tempted to lower my face under the water, but part of me was afraid I wouldn’t come up again. What happened in the pool was tugging at my thoughts. It was frightening to think about how easy it had been to stay underwater, to give up. It was a part of me I didn’t want to acknowledge. There were so many times in the past I could have given up before my escape. I’d always been so intent on surviving another day, to get to something more. My mind used to trick me into believing that everything would be better if I ever made it outside my room. Now I realized my mind had been lying to me.
A soft knock on the door broke through my thoughts.
I sat up, making sure the bubbles were still covering me.
Mom pushed the door open. “I brought your pajamas,” she said, setting them on the bench seat under the window. “Is the water warm enough?”
I nodded. “It’s perfect. Thank you for letting me use your bathroom.”
&nbs
p; “Honey, what’s mine is yours. Anytime you want to take a bath or escape Jacob’s mess, it’s yours. So, other than your pool mishap, how did the party go?”
I reached out a finger and popped one of the bubbles without making eye contact. “It was good,” I lied. I didn’t see the point in telling her what I had overheard. She would only tell me not to listen or something to that effect. The fact was there was nothing she could do to change everyone’s opinions of me.
“That’s good. Hopefully school on Monday will be a little easier. I know it’s going to be an adjustment, but they’re excited you’ll be attending.”
I nodded because I knew that’s what was expected of me. Inside, I was screaming. If anything, tonight proved how ill-equipped I was to interact with regular society, let alone my own peers. School would be my own personal hell. I wished I were still at the bottom of the pool.
* * *