"Why don't you take a shower and I'll order us some dinner?"
Ordinarily, I might have bristled at his almost insistent tone. I may have been a shy person, but my mom always said I had been stubbornly independent from the moment I started walking. My biggest fights with my brothers growing up had been when they tried to boss me around.
Maybe this time I was just tired, but nothing about the way Alec seemed to be ordering me around ruffled my feathers. If anything, I liked it. Coming from him, it felt good to be told what to do. I wished he would make up his mind and take command another way.
"Anything in particular you want?" Alec asked without looking up from the menu.
"No. How about you surprise me?" It amazed me how he always managed to ask a question that made it seem as if he were reading my mind.
"Take your time," Alec answered.
Taking his advice, I decided to forget the shower and sit in a hot bubble bath. I used the bottle of vanilla bean body wash I had brought with me to build a mound of suds and dipped my body into the warm water, letting it swaddle me like a cocoon. I lay perfectly still, listening through the door to the sound of the TV Alec had clicked on. After more than thirty minutes of draining the tub slightly when the water cooled off and adding hot water again, I stood up to towel off before I fell asleep. I opened the bathroom door wearing my sweats, inhaling the scent of hot pizza.
Alec sat on the bed, already devouring one of the slices. "I hope pizza is cool?"
"It's perfect," I answered, grabbing my own slice and climbing up on the bed beside him. In between bites, he passed me the remote control and I flipped around the channels, settling on a baseball game on ESPN. "We watch sports when we eat pizza at my house," I said, shrugging my shoulders at his look of surprise. It felt comforting to be doing something so normal and familiar.
"I'm not sure I've ever been with a girl who actually enjoys baseball," he said.
"You have no idea. We could turn down the sound and I could do the play-by-play and you wouldn't know the difference. I was raised watching sports."
"Well, kiss my ass. We're going to be good pals after all," he laughed, patting my thigh. I flinched, trying to control my suddenly erratic pulse.
We managed to polish off the pizza and breadsticks he had ordered, along with an entire two-liter of soda. I leaned back against the headboard, feeling completely full and content.
Alec stood up, grabbed the boxes off the bed and placed them on the small table in the corner. I sat up, slightly panicked at the idea of him leaving. "I'm going to go take a quick shower and then we can watch the rest of the game, if that's okay?"
"Okay," I answered, relieved that he was coming back. "Can you leave the door open between our rooms?" If he thought I was being childish for asking, he didn't say so.
"Sure. I'll only be a few minutes," he said reassuringly before heading out.
I slid under the blanket on my bed, pulling it up to my neck as I waited for Alec to return. I barely paid attention to the game as I practically counted the minutes in my head. Each second dragged as if Father Time wasn't willing to let them go. I grabbed my phone off the nightstand, but only to make sure I hadn't missed any calls from Mom or Olivia. I had no interest in checking on anything else.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity in my head, Alec returned wearing loose-fitting mesh basketball shorts and a muscle shirt, which truly lived up to its name while on him. His towel-dried hair, still slightly wet from the shower, did nothing but add to his sex appeal.
"Sorry that took so long. I trimmed up my stubble a little too," he said, smoothing a hand over his light cover of facial hair. He climbed up on the bed beside me and leaned back against the headboard.
I tried to mimic his relaxed posture, but all I could focus on was how delectable he looked next to me. I'd seen him shirtless, in a tuxedo and even in wet swim trunks, but something about the way he looked fresh out of the shower and ruffled was pleasing on a whole new level for me. His shorts sat low on his hips, held up by a simple elastic band. The thin material kept hidden, but teased at what lie underneath. It was like finding myself in a gourmet chocolate shop, but unable to buy anything. His body screamed to be sampled and I wanted a taste.
Alec seemed oblivious to what he did to my body by lying next to me. His apparent lack of interest had me second-guessing what I had tried to convince myself all the touches and overprotectiveness throughout the day meant. To him, I was a buddy to hang with and talk sports, nothing more. He kept a running commentary through the game, munching on the chocolate chip cookies he had snagged from the lobby. Basically, he seemed to be having a grand old time. I, on the other hand, was in confusion hell.
When the game came to an end, a sudden awkwardness entered my mind as I wondered whether he would leave for his room. I hated the idea of being alone, but had no idea how to ask him to sleep with me, or sleep next to me would be the better way to put it. It was irrational. Eventually I would have to be alone again. Just not here. I wanted to curse the son of a bitch who had put me in this position, but I didn't want to work myself up and cry again in front of Alec.
Saving me the embarrassment of asking, he took the matter out of my hands and slid under the blanket, making himself comfortable. I looked down at him gratefully, hiding a smile as I slid down on my own pillow. He didn't ask if he could stay, and obviously I didn't object. It was nice to have him there.
He reached over and switched off the light once we were both settled. Following his lead, I turned off the television, plunging the room into darkness.
I became hyperaware of a couple of things at once. With the exception of the previous night, which didn't count because he hadn't actually confirmed whether he slept next to me, this was the first time I'd ever slept with a man. I had always envisioned this moment coming after a long night of passionate lovemaking, after which I would fall asleep in the arms of the man who had finally taken my virginity.
The way we both laid like statues was nothing like I had imagined. It was like we had an invisible line down the center of the mattress that neither of us wanted to cross. Even our breathing was quiet and slow so as not to disturb the other. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought he had somehow slithered out of bed without me feeling it and snuck next door to his room without saying anything. I wanted to inch my hand over to check, but I clenched it into a fist and fought the urge. Instead, I tried focusing on his breathing over the sound of the air conditioner that I wished would cycle off so I could hear better.
My eyelids became heavy as I waited. I struggled to keep them open. Only when I heard the deep rumble of snoring did I smile with relief and allow myself to succumb to sleep.
Chapter Fifteen
A scream tearing through my throat woke me several hours later. Before it had even ended, I was embraced by a pair of comforting, familiar arms. I tried to pull myself from the grips of fear that had followed me out of the dream that was already fading. I couldn't even remember what had frightened me, but it was enough to give me the shakes upon awaking. Grateful for the protective cage Alec's arms provided, I snuggled closer.
"Are you okay?" He stroked a hand gently up and down my back. "It must have been quite a nightmare."