The most startling feature was my almost lifeless eyes that usually danced with laughter. Mom always commented that the sparkle in my eyes was her favorite thing she had given me. At the moment the sparkle had been replaced by a dull, haunting nothingness.
Studying them critically, I felt like I'd somehow lost a part of myself tonight. For the first time in my life, I realized that I'd been pretty much kept in a bubble of safety. I'd had my share of injuries during the years, like the broken arm I got when Zach decided to pull me down our sloped driveway on roller skates. Another time Tony challenged me to a tree-climbing contest, leading to six stitches. At least I had beaten him to the top. I was able to scale the tree like a spider monkey, but during my celebration I forgot I was supposed to be hanging on. As it turned out, falling through branches was nowhere near as fun as climbing them. Despite those couple of instances, my life had been surprisingly free of any blemishes. I had never gotten into any fights. Mom and Dad were never the types of parents who spanked me or my brothers. I had even managed to escape high school relatively drama free. Honestly, I had probably transitioned into adulthood almost too easily.
My eyes were like windows into the mixed-up feelings swirling through me. I needed to put what happened tonight behind me and move on.
Turning from the mirror, I left the bathroom, uncertain if Alec would still be waiting. I found him sitting in the chair I had vacated, talking on my cell phone. A tray with two covered plates of food sat on the foot of the bed. My stomach, which had rejected the idea of food just moments before, let out a low rumble.
Alec ended the call and looked up at me. "Olivia," he said, setting my phone on the table.
I nearly groaned. "You called, Olivia?" I wasn't sure how I felt about him taking the liberty of calling her. She was sure to call my parents, and I wanted to tell them about the incident on my own terms, after I had fully digested it in my head.
He stood up and scooted the chair closer to the foot of the bed where the tray of food sat. "I didn't call her. Your phone was going crazy, so I decided to answer it. I told her you'd call her back in the morning. I think she was on the verge of catching a plane if I wouldn't have answered."
"What? How did she find out?"
"I'm not sure specifically." He lifted the lids off the covered plates. "I ordered burgers. I hope that's okay." He patted the edge of the bed so I could sit across from him. "I only found out because I ran into Jennifer downstairs and she told me you had gone up to the room for the night. I came up to see if you were okay. Olivia said someone who also has a room on this floor came up while all the commotion was happening with the cops and hotel security and somehow found out you were involved and posted something on Facebook. That's how she found out."
"Damn it," I groaned. "It's on Facebook?" So much for privacy.
I sank down on the bed and absently picked up a fry to nibble on. I couldn't help feeling embarrassed everyone knew. "What did Olivia say?" My voice was barely above a whisper.
Alec looked up from slathering his burger with ketchup and mustard. "She's concerned, just like the rest of us. I think between the two of us, she and I could have given that asshole the beating he deserves."
Alec had venom in his voice. I'd never seen him angry. It wasn't directed at me, but was intimidating as hell nevertheless. "That's cool of you to say, but you don't need to fight my battles. Besides, that guy is sitting in jail probably wondering how he ended up there. I really think he believed I'd be up on his offer when he asked. My prospects might be low, but even my V-card has standards." I thought maybe my joke would lighten the mood, but it fell flat and sounded harsh, even to my ears. Maybe it was my mind's way of coping. It was better than the images of his disgusting hands on my body, or how close I'd come to losing the one thing that meant the most to me.
Alec's hand tightened around the plastic cup he was holding, making it creak and crack. Neither of us spoke as we sat watching the water inside cascade down his fingers and to the floor.
"Sorry. I know that sounded shitty. It's just—" I said, breaking the silence. I couldn't finish my thought because I really didn't know what to say. I jumped off the foot of the bed to retrieve a towel from the bathroom, but Alec had stood first, blocking my way. Unlike my incident earlier, there was nothing threatening about the way Alec stood in front of me. My eyes remained on his chest. I was too afraid of what I would see if I looked at his face. I thought I had already cried myself out, but tears collected in my eyes, spilling out and falling to the floor like the water from his cup.
Alec dragged me into his arms. My face remained tightly pressed against his chest as a new wave of sobs left me. All the fear and shame I had been fighting to hide poured out. He tightened his hold on me as I began to shake. Sweeping me up off my feet, he carried me to the bed and without releasing his hold, lowered us both so that we lay together with me cradled in his arms. He was tender and compassionate. I couldn't help but wonder how one person could be so rough while another was so gentle.
I felt awful for ruining Alec's evening. It wasn't like he had signed on for this, but it would have taken the Jaws of Life to pry me from his arms. For the first time since I'd stepped off the elevator earlier, I felt safe.
I wasn't sure when I stopped crying because I fell asleep shortly after we lay down together. The last thing I remembered was Alec rubbing his hand smoothly over my back in soothing circles. At one point I thought I felt him pull the comforter up over me, which made me burrow even closer to him, afraid he would leave me.
I slept void of any dreams in spite of what had happened, which I was thankful for. By the time I finally pried my eyes open, the room was dark, but I could tell it was morning because of the sun peeking around the edges of the curtains. Initially I thought I was alone in bed. I stretched my arms over my head, fighting the disappointment that flared through me. Of course, it was selfish to expect that Alec would have stayed with me all night. Especially since he had allowed me to soak his shirt without complaint.
I felt the bed dip down beside me, making my eyes fly open.
Alec peered at me with concern. "God, I'm sorry. Did I scare you?" He brushed a lock of hair off my forehead. His touch was comforting and familiar. If anything, last night had brought us closer.
I sat up and dragged myself up against the headboard. Afraid of what I must have looked like, I smoothed a hand over my head. Medusa probably had nothing on me. "No, it's okay. I just thought you had left." My voice sounded raspy and dry.
"I did for a little bit. I figured you could use a Starbucks." He handed over an insulated cup with a paper sleeve on it.
I raised the steaming cup to my nose, inhaling appreciatively. "Bless you." I took a sip of my coffee, marveling that he had doctored it up to my preference. His attention to detail surprised me. "How did you remember how I take it?" I asked, taking another sip.
He chuckled. "I think it's a hazard of being a bartender. I tend to remember what people order. My head is filled with hundreds of worthless drink orders."
"That kind of memory should come in handy when you start medical school," I added.
"Let's hope so. I'd hate to take an exam in human anatomy and totally blank on the right answer for the femur when all I can think of are the ingredients for a Sex on the Beach."
I laughed. "I don't know. You get the right professor and they may appreciate that. Grading anatomy exams has to be tedious. They could probably use a drink. So, why a doctor?" I pulled my legs up and folded them under me.
"Versus a tightrope walker like I thought I wanted to be?" He plopped down on the bed beside me with his own coffee.
A giggle bubbled up through me. "Tightrope walker? You're teasing."