“Good, that’s what I’ve been chasing my whole life.”
His words hit my heart. If he breaks my heart, I’ll beat the shit out of him, he breaks my daughter’s heart, I’ll kill him.
“I love you,” he says behind a smile, and I jerk from the term of endearment. Then it dawns on me all these feelings and emotions I’ve been having for him has been love too.
“I love you too,” I whisper, and he slaps my ass, taking us out of the mushy moment.
Penelope continues to twirl and run around the room, and Lee slips me to my feet and starts to chase her, making her scream and giggle. I can still have my garage and make the loft a play area for Penelope because I am not ready for her to go to daycare or be away from me. Every time I blink, I’m scared I’m going to fuck something up and have her and Lee taken away from me, and that’s just because of my history. I’m bad at love and taking care of those who care about me.
But I think I’ve lost it all and realized what is most important to me in life, and I’ll do anything to keep it. Destroying scars that cause fear and lies won’t kill us but make us stronger, but beware, bloodlines do not guarantee a long life of kindred spirits, for there’ll be prospects that birth secrets that test your significance.
Right?
28
Delilah
Sitting outside of the house Lee just bought, I watch Penelope run in the little bit of yard in the front with her frog in her hand making him fly. She’s completely lost in her own imagination and I can’t stop watching her.
“So, I’m glad you’re back home, bitch,” Piper says, sitting down on the concrete steps next to me.
Sitting up, I rest my elbows on my knees and sigh, I know she’s going to ask a lot of questions about Penelope and why I never told her.
“Where’s Nellie?” I ask, not seeing her with the baby is a first.
“She’s inside with Saint and Big Chief.” She shrugs, leaning her head back to soak up some sun rays, her red hair glistening and shining like a ripe apple.
“So, is Nellie why you left? Because you couldn’t be around a baby without thinking about Penelope?” She lifts her head and hits me with those no-fucks-given eyes. She always was a straight shooter.
Biting my bottom lip I look back up at Penelope, she’s on the ground talking to herself now.
“Yes and no. When I held Penelope for the first time, I felt a love and happiness I never felt before, I was searching for that feeling again, I think.”
“I know what feeling you’re talking about,” she mutters, looking down at her feet in her flip-flops.
I turn to her. “Yeah, whether by blood or choice, no one will take care of you like family.”
She flips her red hair over her shoulder and softly laughs. “Yep, you just had to have the shit beat out of you to figure that out.”
I shrug, but she’s right. At the time, everything my dad and uncles were doing in an attempt to protect me seemed like torture, as if I was constantly being punished for giving up Penelope when really they just didn’t want me to lose another piece of my soul if some hot guy in a sexy truck showed up.
“I gotta say, you seem more open than before you left.”
“What do you mean?”
“You were my club sister, and I knew that but you shut everyone else out, now you’re smiling and around everyone more, I think this might be the first time I haven’t seen you wear at least one piece of black clothing.”
We both look down at what I’m wearing. A maroon tank top and blue jeans. I didn’t realize she kept tabs on my wardrobe so closely, so I hide my black fingernails into my palms. Maybe it was Lee, maybe it was Penelope, but I do feel different. I feel like I woke up one day and magically turned into a caring adult with responsibilities and shit.
“Yeah, I guess I’m a little more friendly.”
“You should have told me, bitch. I would have been there for you!”
My head starts to ache thinking about how I should have handled everything at the ripe age of teenager.
“I wasn’t so sure I made the right choice and didn’t want to hear anybody tell me I made the wrong choice.” The last of my words a mere whisper. “I didn’t even know Zane knew.”
“If he knows, then Addie knows, she has that boy pussy whipped.” Piper doesn’t hold back, which is why we click so well. We have no filter for bullshit.
“That would explain why she’s not blowing up my phone demanding answers.” Sitting up, I quietly laugh. That bitch, I wonder how long she’s known.