But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel.
I feel too much.
“I’m scared,” I admit to Carrick, glad my eyes can follow the path my fingers are taking down his stomach so I don’t have to let him see the slight bit of shame that admission causes.
He’ll never let that statement pass without looking me in the eyes, though. He rolls me to my back, propping on an elbow to hover over me. His free hand cups my jaw, and his golden eyes are swimming with empathy.
It’s too much to handle, and I’m forced to look away.
His hand tightens on my jaw, a command to grace him with my attention. My eyes slowly come back to his.
“Life is so fragile,” he murmurs gently. “No stronger than glass. And it seems from the moment I met you in this lifetime, that was something you inherently accepted. You lost your parents, and you understood how fleeting it all is. The strength you’ve shown these last few months, especially after learning about this sacrifice you’ll have to bear, is greater than some of history’s bravest warriors. Time and time again, you’ve acknowledged that fate will not take a backseat, and you’ve faced it head-on with not only brute confidence, but also with a graciousness that comes from the beauty of your heart. It’s because your heart is so fucking big and loves so goddamned generously that you’ve been marching forward to greet your destiny without ever taking a moment to be scared. And now… you’re taking it, and I’m here for it. I’m here to shoulder the burden with you. I’ll take on all of your worries, pain, and fear if you’ll let me. I will continually remind you that you brought a demi-god to his knees time and time again, and you are more magnificent than all the gods put together. It’s with that knowledge I know I’ll have to let you go until I find that shining star again. Until then, I hope it’s enough that I will be by your side every step of the way. And if the fates are kind to us, hopefully I’ll be holding you as you leave this world to wait for me in the next.”
My eyes, of course, are swimming with tears. They slip from the outer corners, hit my temples, and slide behind my ears. They tickle as they travel over my skin. Strangely, they ground me just a little.
Carrick doesn’t make a move to wipe them away. He wants me to let them out.
He bends closer, his eyes so intense I couldn’t look away if I wanted to. “I don’t want you to die tonight, Finley. But if you do, I need you to know that I’ll never be more proud of anyone in my life when it happens. It will be a travesty that humanity will never know the lengths to which you’ve gone to save them all. You won’t be memorialized in history, but you are forever etched on my soul. That’s all that really matters.”
“I love you,” I whisper, putting my hands to the sides of his face and pulling him to me for a kiss.
And it starts warm and bright like the sunshine. Ultimately, when he’s done with me, I see nothing but stars.
It’s only after we take a shower together, get dressed, and head into the kitchen that I start to lose the warm fuzzies Carrick produced. I know I have to start mentally preparing for the fight ahead. But before that, I need just a little bit more time for one last gathering in the kitchen while Zaid feeds us.
Me, Carrick, Zora, Rainey, Myles, Maddox, Zaid, and Boral.
The Dream Team.
I think I can speak for the group when I say none of us really have an appetite, but we need fuel for the long and arduous hours ahead of us.
As it’s mid-morning, there’s nothing more appropriate than brunch while enjoying these last moments of camaraderie. After, we’ll make the roughly two-hour drive toward Lake Wenatchee, where we’ll set up a good mile out from the ritual site in a deeply wooded area Maddox had scouted. Currently, Carrick has allies stationed around the general vicinity of where the ritual will take place to watch for Kymaris and her forces. They’re hidden in trees or with magical glamours, their only job to watch and report. We have no clue when Kymaris will start to set up, but we want to know as soon as she does.
So far, it’s been quiet.
Zaid lays out an amazing feast—Belgian waffles with fresh cream and strawberries, thick-cut bacon crisped to perfection, two different types of quiche, croissants for Zora, and a variety of cold cuts and broiled tomatoes for a bit of a European flair. We load up our plates, take our usual spots around the island, and eat.